All posts by Mike Elliott

About Mike Elliott

Sharknado Survivor • Musician • Richmond Tigers tragic • Simpsons fanatic • Muppets fan • I love Bendigo • No, I don't wanna build a snowman
  • Crate Man Announced As The Next Bachelor

    Channel Ten announced yesterday that the next Bachelor will be Bendigo’s own Crate Man. “I’m just looking for the right Crate to spend the rest of my life with” said Crate Man. “Crate Woman is out there...

    • Posted October 16, 2018
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  • Kangaroo Flat Man Finally Takes Down Christmas Decorations

    Local Man Theodore Lane from Kangaroo Flat announced on Social Media today he is finally taking down last years Christmas decorations after the Bendigo Council sent a letter ordering them to be removed. The decorated house includes...

    • Posted September 5, 2018
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  • Local Woman Thought Adult Book Week Was A Thing

    A woman this week accidentally went to work dressed up in costume believing it was Book Week. Geraldine Jefferson, a Lawyer from California Gully dressed as Dobby The Elf from Harry Potter only to be told to...

    • Posted August 30, 2018
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  • Daryl Braithwaite To Perform At The BFL Grand Final

    Daryl Braithwaite has been announced as this years Bendigo Football League Grand Final entertainment. It has been revealed exclusively to The Bendigo Standard, during The Horses a dozen Pegasus’ will be released into the sky at the QEO. The horse-winged creatures have replaced...

    • Posted August 29, 2018
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  • Man Jumps on Richmond Bandwagon As They’re Not As Crap Now

    Local man Jeff Gooden announced on social media today he is now going for Richmond. “They used to be crap and now they’re not. I used to be a Carlton supporter back in the early 90’s. Now...

    • Posted August 28, 2018
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  • Local Woman Promotes The Benefits Of Chicken Nugget Yoga

    A woman from Maiden Gully has open the doors to a new Bendigo Yoga Studio that specialises in the ancient art of Chicken Nugget Yoga. Namaste. It’s just like regular yoga, with the added element of eating...

    • Posted August 28, 2018
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  • Man Changes Smoke Alarm Battery When Australia Changes Leadership

    A man from Stawell in Western Victoria admitted he only changes his smoke alarm battery when Australia gains a new Prime Minister. Gerald Fawkes said “Back in the 90’s I kept forgetting to change the battery during...

    • Posted August 27, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of August 27, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 Your coworkers are planning your birthday party. • Believe everything you read. • Your next Career: Skeptic • Your lucky number is -6.  Libra...

    • Posted August 27, 2018
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  • Local Man Buys Mop From Bunnings To Clean Up Lib Spill

    Local man Bob Jacobs from Eaglehawk announced on social media he got a deal on some mops to help clean up the Lib Spill. “I can’t believe the deal I got.” Mr Jacobs said. “I picked up...

    • Posted August 24, 2018
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  • Local Teen Gets Coles Mini’s Stuck In His Butt

    A local teenager on Saturday night was rushed to emergency after a dare went wrong. The young man was taking part in a new craze known as “Colesing” and dared by his friends to stick as many...

    • Posted August 23, 2018
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