All posts by Mike Elliott

  • Your Horoscope – Week Of Feburary 5, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  ♒ Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18 Learn how to drive, jerk! ♓ Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 Your refrigerator is filthy. Get an Aries to clean...

    • Posted February 5, 2018
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  • Private School Removes ‘School’. Offers New Classes

    Parents are outraged this today after a unnamed private school principal from Bendigo banned the word “Schools” from schools, claiming he wanted to make schools “more acceptable to lower class families”. “It’s not a school. It’s a...

    • Posted January 30, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of January 29, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  ♒ Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18 If it’s your birthday enjoy it like its your first. ♓ Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20 You will stay humble...

    • Posted January 29, 2018
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  • Man Finds Way To Eat Banana In A Non-Sexy Way

    Eaglehawk man Greg Dawson found a non-sexy way to eat a banana today. He was on his morning tea break and wore a Donald Trump mask he was given in last years Kris Kringle. Work colleagues discovered...

    • Posted January 29, 2018
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  • game of thrones
    Huntly Man Brags About Never Seeing Game Of Thrones

    HUNTLY MAN Guy Sunbury announced to his work colleague’s he has never seen an episode of Game Of Thrones. The conversation began around the water cooler during morning tea in June. He was asked if he was...

    • Posted November 20, 2017
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  • Hipster Crushed To Death By Own Man Bun

    BREAKING: Paramedics are preparing to transport a man to hospital after reportedly being crushed by his own Man Bun The incident occurred at a Butte St property in North Bendigo a short time after 9:45am. A Bendigo...

    • Posted November 17, 2017
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of July 24, 2017

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 Travel is in your future to Hawaii when someone asked you to be ‘Be pacific as possible’. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23...

    • Posted July 24, 2017
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  • drink
    Eaglehawk Student Cures Hangovers Permanently

    Eaglehawk Student Greg Frankly has created the most successful hangover cure. The 16 year old accidentally discovered “Uncle Greg’s Wake-Up Juice” upon returning from the school dance after a big night out. The recipe includes mixing every...

    • Posted July 22, 2017
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of July 17, 2017

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♋ Cancer | June 21 to July 22 You will find a way new way to make homemade charcoal by putting a chicken in the oven and quickly checking your...

    • Posted July 17, 2017
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of July 10, 2017

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♋ Cancer | June 21 to July 22 Your legs will hurt this week after you take the biggest crap in the toilet. You will be fine by Wednesday, but...

    • Posted July 14, 2017
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