All posts by Mike Elliott

  • Your Horoscope – Week Of August 20, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 Your father is not an astronaut. • It’s okay to isolate, as long as you don’t do it alone. • The planetary influences will...

    • Posted August 20, 2018
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  • Meteorologist Suggests The Weather Needs To Sort It’s Crap Out

    Local Meteorologist Ennis Mildew has said today he has no idea what’s up with the weather. “I was driving from Epsom to Kangaroo Flat. One minute it was fine, one minute it was hailing, when I drove...

    • Posted August 18, 2018
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  • Local Man Angry There’s No Bunnings In Eaglehawk

    Local man is literally spewing after receiving a letter from Bunnings. He is angry there are no plans to build a Bunnings in Eaglehawk. Jim Erikson said “I’m sick of driving 10 minutes to the Epsom store...

    • Posted August 17, 2018
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  • Study Finds 100% of Kids Singing Daddy Finger or Baby Shark Song Will Miss Christmas

    A new study was released today. Results show 100% of kids who sing that Daddy Finger or Baby Shark song miss Christmas. Kids have been playing the same 3 YouTube videos over and over ad-nausem. Parents...

    • Posted August 16, 2018
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  • 29 Year Old Potter Fan Still Waiting For Letter From Hogwarts

    Bendigo’s biggest Harry Potter fan, 29 year old Mary Clunes from Eaglehawk is still waiting for her acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She has been waiting since her 11th birthday but it never...

    • Posted August 16, 2018
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  • Long Gully Publican Calls Last Drinks After 1 Day

    Jeff Richards has only spent 1 day as the Publican of Long Gully’s Laughing Pig Hotel. He has decided that it is finally time to retire. The Laughing Pig Hotel has been put up for sale but the memories it...

    • Posted August 14, 2018
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  • M&M’s The New Australian Currency

    Raise your hand if you are looking for money and can’t find it? Throughout the world money/currency after Britain’s Brexit is becoming scarce. What is the solution you ask? Well look no further…. Australia’s currency is now...

    • Posted August 13, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of August 13, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week. ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 You will re-enact scenes from Lord Of The Rings with your cat but it ends up being Harry Potter instead. ♍ Virgo...

    • Posted August 13, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of August 6, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 Today will be full of hits, misses, and gun jams. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 The milk is going...

    • Posted August 6, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of July 30, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.  ♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22 If it’s your birthday enjoy it like its your first. ♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22 It’s OK, it happens...

    • Posted July 30, 2018
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