All posts by Luke Morris

  • Bendigo Bank Still Better Than Bank of Melbourne

    It was relaunched in 2009 as Westpac sort to cash in on a sense of “local” that pinko, green-o, communists of Melbourne claim to love – while eating New Zealand truffles and drinking Cambodian coffee. Since then...

    • Posted August 22, 2018
    • 0
  • Strathfieldsaye Man Convinced Blood Donations Go Straight to Vampires

    Gareth Reynolds, 78, Strahtfieldsaye, has been donating blood for the past 37 years. “It’s all going to vampires!!!” he says, after watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time on the weekend. “Sure Mr Reynolds. Vampires,”...

    • Posted August 21, 2018
    • 0
  • “Immigrants Have Done Nothing For This Country,” Says Son of Immigrants

    Niall de Niall, 37, Queensland, was in Bendigo to celebrate 1044 days since the first Mosque Rally in Bendigo. “So many memories,” said Mr de Niall. “It was the first time I got to ride a tram.”...

    • Posted August 20, 2018
    • 0
  • Hot Topic: Would you drink it?

    Yesterday a stubby of beer, labelled Carlton Dry, was found in a supermarket car park. “It doesn’t look open,” said one interested punter. It appeared to have been left behind, forgotten like a cat in a box...

    • Posted August 19, 2018
    • 0
  • Bendigo Decides: How Do You Eat a Whole Lettuce

    The people of Bendigo have spoken on the tough questions. Mosque. Trams. How long the Kangaroo Flat swimming pool should be. Now it’s how to eat a head of lettuce. The Apple Method Party have been vocal...

    • Posted August 19, 2018
    • 0
  • Wine Review: Wild Duck Creek 2010 Yellow Hammer Hill.

    Smells like the Incredible Hulk after a work-out in IXL’s vat of raspberry conserve, and tastes like a raspberry chocolate mud cake made by Adriano Zumbo hammered in your face by Thor. Yep. Super power wine.

    • Posted August 18, 2018
    • 0
  • Jimmy Barnes Plays Goldmines Hotel

    Last night Jimmy Barnes returned to Bendigo for a show at the currently closed Goldmines Hotel. It was a private event held by the new owners. They had met Barnes at a recent show at Ulumbarra Theatre....

    • Posted August 18, 2018
    • 0
  • Fun Fact: The Last Letter in a Sentence is Still Not a Capital Letter

    The dictionary says there is no word that finishes with a capital letteR. LetteR. That looks wronG. It makes no sensE. And what is a mews anywaY? Aside from a person who inspires creativitY? You’rE goinG tO...

    • Posted August 17, 2018
    • 0
  • Less Spew Outside Elmore Memorial Hall Than Expected

    “I was expecting a lot more spew,” said a charmed tourist to Elmore. Last night Orchestra Victoria continued its tour of towns-never-really-heard-of, allowing people not from around here to come, sit, listen, and be enchanted by their...

    • Posted August 15, 2018
    • 0
  • Bendigo Comedy gigs in August

    Do you want to do stand-up comedy in Bendigo? Contact bendigocomedy@gmail.com Friday 3 August – Shamrock Comedy – https://www.facebook.com/ShamrockComedyClub/   September… Friday 7 September – Shamrock Comedy – https://www.facebook.com/ShamrockComedyClub/ Friday 21 September – Open Mic at the...

    • Posted August 14, 2018
    • 0