All posts by Grant Lockwood

About Grant Lockwood

Grant Lockwood is the Bendigo Standard's newest contributor. His interest in writing for the Standard was piqued when he thought he overheard the editors looking for a "pub reporter", which sadly turned out to be misheard. Grant still harbours dreams of becoming Bendigo's first pub reporter, mostly so he can claim his bar tab at the Cambrian as a tax deduction.
  • Local Swingers Misinterpret Bendigo Swap Meet

    Local group sex enthusiasts were left confused this weekend after a misunderstanding involving the Bendigo Swap Meet. “This is not what I had in mind at all” said White Hills resident Darren Fitzharry. “There’s all these cars...

    • Posted November 17, 2018
    • 1
  • Coin-Operated Paywall Failure

    The Bendigo Standard was today restored to its last-known-good state, after attempts to install the internet’s first coin-operated paywall ended in disaster. “I’m not sure exactly what went wrong” said Mike Elliott, editor-in-chief of the Standard. “I...

    • Posted November 13, 2018
    • 1
  • Not this again
    Bendigo Council to dig up mall again for no good reason

    In accordance with long-standing tradition, Bendigo Council announced plans yesterday to dig up the mall again. “We think it’s due for its decennial digging down, in accordance with the ancient traditions of our people” said Bendigo Council...

    • Posted September 10, 2018
    • 0
  • Zimbabwe sends officials to Australia to assist with orderly change of government leader

    A delegation from the Zimbabwean government will arrive in Australia shortly to provide advice and support to the Australian government during it’s impending leadership change. “Some of these countries have a long history of policital instability, corruption...

    • Posted August 24, 2018
    • 0
  • Bendigo’s first pro lotto player

    Kennington resident Paul Lindell expressed his desire this week to become Bendigo’s first professional lottery player. “I mean, there’s professional poker players, there’s professional punters, what’s stopping me from becoming a pro Powerball player?” said Paul. “How...

    • Posted August 15, 2018
    • 0