Local News - Page 9

Council Turns Potholes Into 5000 New Swimming Pools

Bendigo City Council announced yesterday its ingenious solution to the city's notorious pothole problem: turning them into 5000 new swimming pools. "We realized that fixing...

Bendigo Residents To Vote On Correct Pronunciation Of ‘Mall’

It's an issue that has divided Bendigo residents for a long time, and now the residents of Bendigo are set to vote on the...

Local Woman Drops Phone In Lake Weeroona. Turtles Unimpressed by iPhone 14

Local woman Kate O'Connell accidentally dropped her brand-new iPhone 14 in Lake Weeroona on Saturday, sending shockwaves throughout the turtle community. The device failed...

Galactic Empire Celebrates Star Wars Day by Blowing Up Bendigo

In a stunning display of force, the Galactic Empire celebrated Star Wars Day by obliterating  Bendigo in a move reminiscent of the destruction of...

Centrelink Hold Music Crushes Caller’s Spirit

California Gully resident Sharon Thompson has admitted defeat after a gruelling 60-minute standoff with Centrelink's notorious hold music. Mrs Thompson, who began the call...

Local Woman Is 100% Sure The Discman In Cashies Is Hers

Local woman, Candy Skeeball, has made an earth-shattering discovery at Cash Converters – a vintage Discman that she is positively and undeniably certain was...

Groovin The Moo Unleashes Brown Note, Neighbours Devastated by Uncontrollable Bowel Movements

Groovin The Moo has inadvertently weaponised sound in an unprecedented turn of events. Neighbours are left crying "foul" as they experience the Brown Note,...

Unidentified Substance Found in Groovin The Moo’s Water Supply, Turns Out to Be Glitter

In a bizarre turn of events, the Groovin The Moo's water supply was contaminated with an unidentified substance. After extensive testing, it was determined...

Groovin The Moo Festivalgoer Overdoses on Good Vibes, Taken to Hospital

In a shocking turn of events, a Groovin The Moo festivalgoer was rushed to the hospital after overdosing on good vibes. Witnesses say the...

Groovin The Moo’s Porta-Loos Named Bendigo’s Cleanest Toilets

Porta-loos at Groovin The Moo (GTM) festival has been named Bendigo's cleanest toilets. This prestigious title was granted by "Superior Hygienic Innovation in Toilets"...

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