Star Wars Fans to Hold Rally Against Release of Star Trek Movie in Bendigo

By on July 14, 2016
Fucking Ewoks.

“We don’t want their kind around here,” stated a man dressed as an Ewok. “Warp drive! That’s not even a thing!”

A dispute has erupted as a new Star Trek movie is planned for release in Bendigo soon.

Cinema spokesperson Minnie Driver said, “The cinema has given permission to the plans, and the film has passed all censorship regulations. There are no further appeals the anti-Star Trek lobby can take.”

However this is not likely to stop the rally.

“They want to come here and speak Klingon and promote having sex with green things,” said a woman dressed as Jar Jar Binks. “We’re not about that. Bendigo is not about that.”

The rally is being organised by the People’s Front of Star Wars, yet has drawn criticism from other Star Wars enthusiasts such as the Star Wars People’s Front.

Jessica Simpson of the Star Wars People’s Front said, “These fanatics don’t represent us. Both sides have their stupid bits. Midi-chlorians for example. No-one should take it all too seriously.”

Black balloons are being tied to trees for no clear reason as Star Trek promotions appear on television and are expected to be marketed in fast food restaurants.

“Oh, we do like the food,” said a man wearing a Skiff Guard costume.

Despite this agreement the argument of one fantasy series against another is set to continue, with the rally planned for a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away – which logistically is a nightmare.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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