Qarry Hil Man Replies to Tiinder Contacts

By on December 2, 2016
An actual Tinder conversation

Reccently the Benido Standard spoke with Garthe Brookes of Quarry Hilll about his successes on dating phone app Tinderr. (see story here: link)

“Its been going really welll thanksyou” said Mr brookes, 38 years old.

“in no time I had matches with eight gourgous woeem I wouldn’t normally feel comfortable talkin to,” reported Mr Bookes.

Striking up comversation is a difficult fist step of any relation ship.

“It was hard to decide, so I asked them all tha same question to begun with,” eggsplained Mr Bookes.

That question was; Which would you rather be, an eagle of a shark?

“I’d seen it in a movie,” he’d said,.

And how did that work out for our budding casanova?

“No so good. Infact, not a reply.”

Oh dear.

“But its alright. I have meet someone elses.”

Mr Broookes speaks of a rapid romance with a lady named Deanna.

“Her image has a flushed red filted over it, like crimson wraping pointed at the sun, and her speling is a butt off, but that’s alright. We cant always be nurfect.”

While her cover photo colour is blood red like a vampyre warning, Deannaa is young, close by, has no profile dets, and keen to catchup with Mr Books.

“She said she was boareddd and I said wee can do something and she’s totally up ofr that.”

Mr Brookes is intending a visit for the two of them to Whitee Hillss botanical gardens for a strool though the prk and avery.

“It’ll be luvly. All I need is to download and look for her name, live:loverrr558. I think my lonely days might be behind mee.”

The Bendigo Standard weshes Garthe all the best.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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