Bendigo’s Easter Festival Makes the Bendigo Hanukkah Carnival Look Crap

By on March 25, 2016
Queuing for a swing that isn't pushed by a friend. The type of entertainment Rabbi Krustofski wants to mimic.

Chocolate eggs, table tennis, giant bunnies, Blues & Roots music, paella and a very long Chinese dragon, the Bendigo Easter Festival is the envy of the local Jewish community.

But not for long.

“This year’s Hanukkah will be an extravaganza,” stated local Jewish identity Rabbi Krustofski.

“There’ll be the southern hemisphere’s biggest dreidel spinning at Lansell Plaza, a massive menorah lit in the gardens – away from trees I assure you, and so much oily food at stalls that I challenge anyone to choke on anything.”

Traditionally the Bendigo Hanukkah Carnival has been held at the Rabbi’s house, due to the lack of local synagogue.

“The neighbours have been wonderful, often keeping me company when nobody else showed up, but this year will be different!”

Along with over-sizing things and encouraging potential heart attacks, the Rabbi is seeking engagement from irrelevant commercial entities.

“It’s what the Christians have done so well. Face painting Transformer logos! What on this great green earth has that got to do with Easter?”

Dates for the Carnival are set for the last week of December, and are sure to confuse Christmas shoppers.

by Luke Morris.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

2 Comments

  1. Beven

    March 25, 2016 at 5:10 pm

    Serves them right!

    • bucketofwork

      March 25, 2016 at 8:49 pm

      Not sure what you mean by that Beven. The serves of paella were pretty “right on” today, and the expansion of the judaism festival is “alright” in my book. So yeah, I guess all of “them” are served right.

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