First Bendigonian Travels To Sun At Night

By on March 23, 2016

German NASA officials were overjoyed today when they announced they had sent the first man to the sun at night. Their inspiration comes from Nuclear Man from Superman 4. The pilot was 43-year-old Bendigonian Hans Crumpetzinger. He had trained for 2 years, spent time in various bread ovens and clay kilns to prepare for this occasion.

NASA believed that the key to it all was to travel there at night-time. NASA has new evidence that the sun and the moon are the same. The reason for the trip was to collect sun particles from the inner core of the sun and it could only be collected at night-time.

NASA also launched a bids where you could own your own bit of paradise on the sun. For $30 you can own a block of land.

The only embarrassing moment was when Hans Crumpetzinger returned to Earth and said “That was hot” and actually offended a woman in the crowd. The unnamed woman is pressing charges.

NASA developed a special 1,000,000 SPF sun block to protect Mr Crumpetzinger but he found that he didn’t need it because he went around the back of the sun. This lead to the discovery and why the sun and the moon is the same. “What you are seeing at night-time is the back of the sun”. This statement is seeing teachers re-write history in Bendigo.

To make sure that the law goes in without a hitch a new Sun-Discrimination act goes in next week. Anyone caught teaching or saying that the sun and the moon are different instead of the same will be fined $2,000,000 and faces 10 years imprisonment.

The flight cost tax payers in excess of 10 billion Australian dollars.

Another point of the mission was to change the solar panels on the sun. It gives off its own light and therefore recycling its own energy which emits the heat and the brightness.

Government organisations are looking to combine Sun and Moon together to one word SOON or MUN. This will cut down teaching time in class and visits field trips in schools to observatories. On man who isn’t pleased is 49 year old Sandy Bottoms, owner of a local observatory. “I’m ruined” he cried.

History will never be the same again!

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Mike Elliott

Sharknado Survivor • Musician • Richmond Tigers tragic • Simpsons fanatic • Muppets fan • I love Bendigo • No, I don't wanna build a snowman

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