Hipster Rally: not in my town say locals

By on March 24, 2016

A counter rally is being organised in response to the “Hipsters March in Peace”.

Bevan Smith, spokesperson for the group “Say No to Hipsters”, has confirmed they plan to disrupt the Hipster March.

Mr Smith claims that hipsters are not native to Bendigo and they are ruining our way of life.

“It all started when the Council approved a permit for that bloody Moonlight Market, now they are over running Bendigo like they did in Melbourne with their filthy beards, all worshiping the arabica bean”

The whole thing is a “bloody cock up”, Mr Smith said.

“Next thing they will want to bring in SANGRIA LAW! Forcing us to adopt cool Latin culture like the salsa and having a siesta, those lazy bastards. There will be no turning back once they bring in permaculture. Shouldn’t they have something better to do like go on their annual pilgrimage to Meredith” screamed an increasingly irate Mr Smith.

Bendigo Police Senior Sergeant  Fac Da Pho’lis reported claims of rally and counter rally were over stated and police didn’t expect any trouble. “I think its all a storm in a soy latte” stated Sergeant Pho’lis.

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