Hot Topic: Would you drink it?

By on August 19, 2018

Yesterday a stubby of beer, labelled Carlton Dry, was found in a supermarket car park.

“It doesn’t look open,” said one interested punter.

It appeared to have been left behind, forgotten like a cat in a box as the driver put it down, entered the car, started the engine and drove away.

“It’s probably filled with piss,” said another passer-by.

It seems a lovable pastime of teens and bell-ends is to refill beer bottles with urine, screw the lid back on, and watch until someone picks up the bottle and drinks their piss.

“But you can tell if it’s real if the bottle fizzes when opened,” said one guy – suspiciously sounding like he wasn’t going to make the same mistake twice.

After further investigation, it was determined the bottle was indeed filled with rotten, piss tasting, utter horror of a liquid.

“Oh yuck!” said the guinea pig.

It was a Carlton Dry after all.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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