Kangaroo Flat Man Finally Takes Down Christmas Decorations

By on September 5, 2018

Local Man Theodore Lane from Kangaroo Flat announced on Social Media today he is finally taking down last years Christmas decorations after the Bendigo Council sent a letter ordering them to be removed.

The decorated house includes 20 km of lights, a DJ blasting Christmas carols and a baby Jesus with an inbuilt GPS so the owner can find him if he is missing. “I don’t care about my power bill as I want to bring joy to everyone all year round. I had to take out a second mortgage but who cares?”

Every night since December 1 Mr Lane and his local church group have been performing their own Carols by Candlelight for the past 300 consecutive nights. It includes the Salvation Army brass band, a 100 voice choir and real farm animals. This has not made some of his neighbours joyful and triumphant.

One of Mr Lane’s neighbour’s, Mary Josephine complains she has not been able to sleep properly for the past 10 months. “All I want is some sleep. I have spoken to the council at least 50 times and all they have said is to hang thick curtains but the light still keeps getting in” she said. The council stepped in with a cease and desist. “It’s too late now. Our property values are screwed.”

Another one of his neighbours Jerry Kwibbey said “If I have to hear Mariah Carey’s All I want for Christmas is you once more I’m gonna stick a Christmas tree up someones %$#.”

On the other hand, Mr Lane’s other neighbour John Grimbly said he loved it. “Easter was fantastic. We celebrated 2 holidays together. It was a great way to celebrate our Lord and Saviour. It’s a refreshing change.”

Many famous celebrities have dropped in to perform their favourite carol. The list includes Ricki-Lee, Guy Sebastian, Delta Goodrem, John Farnham and The Wiggles. “I remember one time back in July. David Kosh dropped in and offered to host the night. That was the same night a Santa broke his leg when he fell off his sleigh pulled by 8 Pomeranian’s dressed as reindeer” said Mr Lane.

Tomorrow night is his final Carols by Candlelight until December 1. The Bendigo Standard will be there with all the action.

It will take Mr Lane approximately a month to pack up his decorations. He will then spend all of November setting up for this years lights display.

 

About Mike Elliott

Creator of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. My long life dream is to make Cricket bats so everyone calls me The Batman http://facebook.com/mikeelliottcomedy

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