Local Teen Gets Coles Mini’s Stuck In His Butt

By on August 23, 2018
Mini Hand Gel Does Not Help

A local teenager on Saturday night was rushed to emergency after a dare went wrong.

The young man was taking part in a new craze known as “Colesing” and dared by his friends to stick as many Coles Mini’s as he could up his butt.

Unfortunately, many Coles Mini’s became lodged inside the unnamed 15-year old and unable to be removed.

The Bendigo Standard believes there were as many as 12 items or less. Some of the items included a tin of Milo, a jar of Vegemite, a pack of Tim Tams, bleach and a pack of 2-minute noodles.

The Bendigo Standard believes the current record is 22, set by an unknown government official from Sydney.

A Proctologist from Sydney flew to Bendigo to perform the removal of the mini items using special equipment. Unfortunately, due to safety reasons, not all items could be removed. Some items were lodged as far as the kidneys and large intestine. “I’ve never seen anything like it. I even tried to coax the items out with the mini hand soap but it made things worse” he said.

Items recovered were collected in a canvas bag as no single-use plastic bags were available.

This follows the news of a 21 year old caught trying to smuggle a mini Vegemite into Bali.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Mike Elliott

Sharknado Survivor • Musician • Richmond Tigers tragic • Simpsons fanatic • Muppets fan • I love Bendigo • No, I don't wanna build a snowman

Leave a Reply and win at life

%d bloggers like this: