School Girl Wishes Magpies Would Swoop Teacher

By on September 22, 2018

“Bugger off ‘pies,” said Jessixa Hill, 7, Maiden Gully.

It’s magpie swooping season, and Jessixa Hill wishes they’d leave her alone.

“They bugger swoop me the buggers,” said Miss Hill.

Every day young Miss Hill has to walk to Maiden Gully Primary from across the street under that big tree with the magpies in it.

“They bugger at me and I wish they would stop,” said Miss Hill.

Aside from problems with a swooping magpie it seems Miss Hill hasn’t been taught what the word bugger means.

“I got Mrs Thompson and she’s a bugger, I wish the ‘pie would just bugger her,” said Miss Hill.

It seems Mrs Thompson doesn’t get along with little Jessixa.

“She gave me detention for bugger doing nothing,” said Miss Hill.

According to our sources it was because Jessixa kept saying bugger in class.

“It’s bugger stupid bugger shit,” said Jessixa, as she swung her school bag and ducked as a magpie swooshed passed her skull and pecked at the tiny kid in a pink parka.

“Bugger off stupid ‘pies! Go swoop a truck!” said Miss Hill.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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