Self-employed Woman Gets Herself In Her Office Secret Santa

By on December 19, 2016

“What are the odds,” said Megan Washington rhetorically.

Ms. Washington, 24, Long Gully, and a freelance bobcat operator, stood in her flat’s staff/lounge room and drew herself in her office Kris Kringle dip.

“I pulled myself out of the hat, then put my name back into the hat, but then pulled myself out again, and put it back. It went on like that for ages,” explained Ms. Washington.

She was also unable to swap with anyone.

“The annoying thing is I’m so difficult to buy for. Maybe a pot plant for voucher somewhere,” she mused.

Ms. Washington also has options of giving cash to a vagrant to buy her something at random, hiring a seeing eye dog for the day to blindly shop with, or eating some magic mushrooms and discovering what she wakes up next to.

“Last time it was a brick,” said Ms. Washington.

The gift must be bought before her Christmas party on Wednesday.

“I’m taking myself to the Bendigo Bowling Alley, or maybe just an alley, my budget is small this year,” said Ms. Washington.

She is also unsure who (or whom) to take as her plus one.

“I could bring my boyfriend along I suppose, but what if I pick up? That could be awkward,” said Ms Washington.

Office romances for the self-employed have a strong success rate.

“The truest love that’s ever found is for oneself,” she said (and so did Guy Gravey in the song Starlings by UK alt rock band Elbow, who are best know for the Mercury prize winning album Seldom Seen Kid. It’s a good album. Check it out. – Ed.).

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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