Bendigo Standard Investigates the Eye Thingy Fake News Stuff

By on July 19, 2017

“Nup. Not a clue who made it,” said Mike Elliott, Senior Editor of the Bendigo Standard.

“I’ve not even seen the eye thingy story,” said Luke Morris, Junior Vice-Senior Editor of the Bendigo Standard.

Apparently the media is wild about some guy with a bung eye.

“I had a dog with a bung eye. It looked like it was going to pop out at any minute,” said Mr Morris. “When I was a kid I’d throw the ball really high just to see if I could get the eye to dislodge when the dog jumped and landed.”

Mr Elliott has been on and off the phone, fielding calls about the Bendigo Standard’s alleged involvement in some cockamamie eye hoax thingymabob.

“It’s been the busiest day in the office since Luke brought in his dog and we spent the whole afternoon stop-start racing it to see if we could get its eye to flip out,” said Mr Elliott.

Failing a Chernobyl type crisis, which on one-hand would be terrible, because nobody wants a nuclear disaster, but on the other hand would see people stop talking about some sort of click bait whatsit, so yeah, failing a Chernobyl type crisis there might be a bit more human hours spent writing about problematic eyes.

“Fido could see A-Okay out of it,” said Mr Morris. “I mean it looked dodgy as heck but he was fine. He kept getting food stuck on it though, ‘cause it jutted out into his dog bowl, but then he’d just lick the food off his eye and all was good.”

For all enquirers about some dude with an eye-patch or something, call Mike.

If you want to share stories about a pet with a wonky eye write to Luke in the comments section below.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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