Old Man Still Hates Doing 50km/h

By on September 8, 2018

“Yeah, it’s like doing a tax return or drinking skim milk.

“I just can’t adjust,” said Kevin Nolan, 68, Sailors Gully.

Mr Nolan doesn’t even like that they changed the bus route.

“It’s not just a street away.

“They changed the numbers!” he said.

What a twat.

Still, the biggest thing he can’t manage is the whole change of speeds from 60 to 50 per hour.

“It’s like, my car doesn’t want to do it.

“You know?

“The engine revs too high.

“I mean, the whole car isn’t designed to glide at 50, but because some dip shit kids can’t figure out that running onto a road is freeking dangerous, I have to break the revs all the freeking time.”

What would you do to put evolution back 15 years (until the next war)?

Run over a few stupid kids in the hope of wiping out the low gene pool?

No that would be wrong.

“So I got to keep doing 50 in a former 60 zone.

“It’s stupid,” said Mr Nolan.

All items on this website are fictitious. Any resemblance to persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental or is intended purely as a satire, parody or spoof.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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