Pinch And Punch For First Day Of The Month Ends In Bloody Mess

By on November 1, 2018

“She started it,” said Kymbilly Jones, 23, from Sailors Gully.

“Narr, she bloody started it,” said Jaxson-Lee Smith, 23, Maiden Gully.

In the Lansell Plaza/Square near the food court/dive a fracas erupted when one friend pinched another.

“It was real hard and that,” said Kymbilly.

“Narr, bullshit, it was nothing,” said Jaxson-Lee.

“Narr, it was real hard,” said Kymbilly.

“Narr, bullshit,” said Jaxson-Lee.

What started as a first of the month welcoming among friends turned more into a MMA fight, with added hair pulling and more mutual throat holds than ever before.

“She didn’t have to hit me so hard,” said Kymbilly.

“Oi soft cock it was nothing. Nothing like your boyfriend wouldn’t do. If you had one,” said Jaxson-Lee.

“Oh bitch,” threw down Kymbilly.

And it was on again.

The Bendigo Standard does not support violence of any kind, though the pinch and punch tradition is a great way to take out some angst against a frenemy (aka frienemy, aka friend enemy, aka dickhead you have to be nice to but don’t always).

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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