Bendigo Decides: How Do You Eat a Whole Lettuce

By on August 19, 2018

The people of Bendigo have spoken on the tough questions.



How long the Kangaroo Flat swimming pool should be.

Now it’s how to eat a head of lettuce.

The Apple Method Party have been vocal all day.

“However, on this night we have to concede to the Leaf by Leaf team,” said AMP spokesperson Frank Levie.

In a bigger upset than Brexit, Leaf by Leaf United have won the vote in Bendigo.

“Of course you eat it like peeling off a plate of chips,” said LbL member Susan Cos.

Others proposed…

“Knife and folk.” – Amanda Bulsson

“Cut out the heart.” – Dustin Bear

“You don’t make friends with salad” – Sean Munson

And, there was the absentee “Why do you ask?” response from Richard M Dixon… who the hell uses a middle initial on Facebook? A person that finds it hard to answer how to eat a lettuce, that’s who.

Watch for the next big topic, Which shoe do you put on first?

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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