Fuck You Canada, says Trump

By on August 25, 2018

In what can only be described as a calculated move, American Commander-in-chief Donald “Duck” Trump has slagged off Canada.

“No greater friends than the United States and Australia!” reads the media release by the Duck head of state.

It therefore is clear that Canada is not America’s No.1 friend.

Most likely not even number one on the speed dial.

The Duck’s phone probably reads AAAAustralia, and then AACanada, or maybe AAAPutin.

At the very least Australia is the United States greatest friend, in some ranking system probably like the WWC.

“For this very reason we as a nation need to console America about recent break-ups, missed job promotions, and how to get off that meth,” said a senior spokesperson from BestFriendAdvice.com

Because that’s what friends are for.

Canada was contacted for this article but they we’re too busy having a good time to care.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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