TV Reporter Visibly Sick at Having to Talk About Donald Trump

By on April 28, 2018

TV Reporter Visibly Sick at Having to Talk About Donald Trump

“Yeah it just hit me,” said Margot Robbie. “I’d been talking about Donald Trump for not even a few seconds, and just the thought of reporting his bile of self-importance as ‘news’ made me sick.”

Robbie was seen chucking up thunder nuggets of carrot into a waste paper bin.

“Everyone was having a go at me for ruining the recyclables, but they’re the ones ruining media respectability by giving air time to utter clap trap.”

The strangest thing was Robbie hadn’t even eaten carrots for the day.

“Yup I’ve not a sausage of an idea where those potions came from.”

As like all reporters with an ounce of decency Robbie has been on a liquid diet.

“Mostly vodka.”

However despite the turn in her health it is unlikely Robbie will be able to escape more media coverage of the American Pres… honestly this is even hard to write.

(Bendigo Standard reporter vomits on keyboard.)

Oh man I don’t remember eating carrots at all this week.

(Bendigo Standard reporter cleans keyboard as best he can and gets on with the job.)

Despite media desire to not give the blow-wind any oxygen in the hope it will tucker the megalomaniac out, there’s little hope of a reprieve.

“Judging by the above sentence, words like reprieve and megalomaniac, you’re targeting at an audience above a year ten level,” said Robbie. “Sorry. We have to report on shiny things and bright lights. Such as the skin, hair and teeth of Donald… of Donald… of Donald… oh god!”

Blurgh.

“Blurgh.”

Blurgh.

“Blurgh.”

Who’s been force feeding me carrot!

“Blurgh. Me too!”

Blurgh.

About Luke Morris

After writing skits, columns and stories for a university magazine, Luke was a copywriter and web content manager in the wine industry. Since then he has written documentary and comedy treatments for television and cinema, as well as education, short story and humour blogs, short stage plays, humour articles, and novels. His work has been used by LeftLion, Fairfax, Play6, The Curio, Vinified, and various other blogs and businesses. He has appeared at stand-up shows in Australia, England and Iceland, and is active with Bendigo Comedy.

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