Zaphod Beeblebrox Campaigns for American Presidency

By on November 7, 2016
He has a second head that is up his own arse

With half a brain, boundless charisma, and an unrivalled ability at shit-talking, Zaphod Beeblebrox is poised to sweep the American Presidential election.

“It’s hard to see anyone beating him,” said political pundit Toni Stark.

“He’s imaginative, irresponsible, untrustworthy, extrovert, nothing you couldn’t have guessed,” said Ms Stark. “Overall, he’s one hoopy frood.”

His fan base love to see him as a likeable guy they can relate to – despite the large gap in his relatableness and likeability.

“He’s just this guy, you know?” said supporter Gag Halfrunt.

Rumours imply Beeblebrox actually has no clue about the campaign and is unable to do anything but follow the path laid out.

Removing half his brain, a prerequisite to political campaigning, a simple step he hasn’t comprehended yet.

Still, Beeblebrox’s notoriety has seen him voted the Worst Dressed Sentient Being in the Known Universe on seven consecutive occasions, and his many failed enterprises all appear to have been spun into appearing successful.

But despite his hedonistic and narcissistic attitudes, there is little to fear, as Wikipedia points out, being President is a role that involves no power whatsoever, and merely requires the incumbent to attract attention so no one wonders who’s really in charge.

A role for which Beeblebrox is perfectly suited.

For more on Zaphod Beeblebrox and his antics, read The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams.

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