All posts tagged "Bendigo"

  • World Safari 4 In Production

    “What with Bear Grylls, Turtle Man, and Donald Trump rocking it in the reality TV world, I thought it was time,” said Australian-freaking-icon Alby Mangles. With the choke hazard that was dusting off the VHS camera complete,...

    • Posted December 23, 2016
    • 0
  • Self-employed Woman Gets Herself In Her Office Secret Santa

    “What are the odds,” said Megan Washington rhetorically. Ms. Washington, 24, Long Gully, and a freelance bobcat operator, stood in her flat’s staff/lounge room and drew herself in her office Kris Kringle dip. “I pulled myself out...

    • Posted December 19, 2016
    • 0
  • Bendigo Medical Reminds Man Of Routine Pap Smear

    “Golly,” said Mr Luke Morris. “I didn’t know I needed to have a pap smear.” The email he received spoke of a routine procedure conducted on women. “The bit I found most surprising was not the lack...

    • Posted December 18, 2016
    • 0
  • Newspaper Clarifies Skateboarders Are Not Actually Spewing

    The Bendigo Advertiser has recently had to clarify that local skateboarders have not been ejecting undigested food stuffs and body acids via their mouths. “I understand the confusion,” said editor-in-chief Nobby Johnson. “Because when kids today say...

    • Posted December 14, 2016
    • 0
  • Doctors hate him! Patients rate him!

    HEALTH NEWS Kangaroo Flat man Trevor Sampson claims that he has seen a significant increase in his business since cuts to Medicare have increased the cost of going to the doctor. Mr Sampson, a heroin dealer said...

    • Posted December 9, 2016
    • 0
  • Star struck lovers, you’ll never believe their amazing story!

    Bendigo couple Jon Walters and Hayley Kommit are both in a stable but critical condition at Bendigo Base hospital after being struck by a meteorite. More to come soon.

    • Posted December 9, 2016
    • 0
  • Qarry Hil Man Replies to Tiinder Contacts

    Reccently the Benido Standard spoke with Garthe Brookes of Quarry Hilll about his successes on dating phone app Tinderr. (see story here: link) “Its been going really welll thanksyou” said Mr brookes, 38 years old. “in no...

    • Posted December 2, 2016
    • 0
  • Secret Bendigo Council Meeting About Changing Australia Day

    “Since the First Fleet hadn’t even heard of evolution yet, saying Australia Day is Invasion Day is pretty harsh,” said Councillor Amy Pond. “It’s about as fair as slapping an indecent exposure summons and criminal record on...

    • Posted November 29, 2016
    • 0
  • Man Breastfeeds Baby

    “She kept tugging at my shirt until she exposed skin,” said Mr. Miles Davis of Bridgewater-on-Loddon. His eight-month old niece was groping his body in search for boob, inexperienced hands seeking a gap in clothing as so...

    • Posted November 19, 2016
    • 0
  • Bendigo Sads ‘n’ Orgies Festival Considers Name Change

    Every year Malcolm McLaren mopes around town with a pile of posters. “It’s a lonely job but at the end of the festival it really feels worth it.” Mr McLaren’s efforts sees unhappy people cluster for a...

    • Posted November 4, 2016
    • 0