All posts tagged "Bendigo"

  • Golden Square Mosquitoes Use Anti-Mosquito Candle As Night Torch

    “Sometimes you hear a chainsaw buzzing, but you can’t be sure it’s a chainsaw making that sound,” said Genevieve Morley, 32, of Golden Square, when describing the local mosquitoes. “They sit on street corners with their skateboards,...

    • Posted October 25, 2016
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  • Quarry hill Man Ineexplicably Popular On Tinder

    “Wowsers! I never knew so many women find me attractive,” said Garth Brookes, 38, from Quarry Hill. Having used online dating application Tinder fo a week, Mr Brooks is surprised at his success. “I’ve been matched with...

    • Posted October 24, 2016
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  • How This Could Be Bendigo’s Brexit Will Scare You

    It has recently come to my attention that Bendigo has an international reputation. It’s not for gold mines, or a shit-long dragon. Nor for the giant Buddhist Stupa or the massive Christian Cathedral. It’s not even for...

    • Posted October 21, 2016
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  • Man Tries To Justify Looking At Dresses

    The Maticevski exhibition in Bendigo stirred the interest of local David “Davo” Smith. “Bloody interesting, I mean, nothing weird about it, I mean, it’s okay, strewth.” Davo, 24, of Cal. Gully, went to the fashion exhibition alone....

    • Posted October 13, 2016
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  • Americans to Lose Right to Bear Arms

    In a shake-up to the American election, one candidate is to end American’s right to bear arms. “It’s long overdue,” said a campaign insider. “Arm ownership in this country has gotten out of hand, so to speak.”...

    • Posted October 12, 2016
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  • Castlemaine Freedom of Speech Festival to Screen Controversial Documentary ‘The Nazi’s Were Right’

    The removal of anti-vaccination film, Vaxxed, from the Castlemaine Film Festival line-up has seen the emergence of the Castlemaine Freedom of Speech Festival. “We just love freedom of speech and believe all voices need to be heard,...

    • Posted September 27, 2016
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  • Father’s Day Annoys Adopted Child of Gay Couple

    “What the frig,” says Benjamin Law. “I got to get two Black & Decker orbital saws now!” Born in a ditch and adopted by Herbert and Steve Law – who are not brothers, one of them changed...

    • Posted September 2, 2016
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  • Woman Dissuades Couple From Buying a Chicken in Golden Square

    “Oh, that is cheap,” says a man in Golden Square supermarket. The price reduced from $13.00 to $2.80. “It’s be here all day,” says a women with a price discount gun. “Look here Dear,” the man draws...

    • Posted September 1, 2016
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  • Queen Victoria to Come Out of the Shadows

    A 113 year old statue of Queen Victoria is now Bendigo’s preeminent lady in a garden. But changes are afoot. “We’re looking to elevate her to icon status, as was befitting Marilyn,” says Bendigo Council marketing guru...

    • Posted August 28, 2016
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  • Local Alcoholics Feel Ignored by Bendigo Beer Festival

    “Where are the Doublebolster beers from Hubbabaloo, and the range of Mumblepressure Extra Pressed Frog Leg Infused Session beers?” asks Maxx Rumble of Quarry Hill, chalkboard writer at the Goldmines Hotel. Despite being a success every year,...

    • Posted August 19, 2016
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