All posts tagged "Bendigo"

  • Dog Dresses as Cat for a Birthday

    “We thought something was a bit fishy,” said party attendee Selma Bouvier, 43, from Long Gully. An orange cat, or is it ginger, or tabby? (Not really my area. Ed.) named Birney – the Bendigo Health spelling...

    • Posted August 14, 2016
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  • Division Divides Bendigo Rioters Festival

    It has been a success every year, but not everyone is happy with the upcoming Bendigo Rioters Festival. “Rioting is about more than the troublemakers they are promoting,” states Eugene Fisk. “There are now rioters operating in...

    • Posted August 8, 2016
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  • Mature Age Student Excited By Lozenge in Gift Bag

    In a chance encounter, a Bendigo Standard reporter and a mature age Bendigo La Trobe student met at a crucial moment. ‘What do you reckon this is?’ asked Stewart “Grandpa” Jones, 37, while holding a condom sized...

    • Posted July 30, 2016
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  • Bendigo Orienteering Squad Aiming for Gold

    “The Olympic’s are right around the corner and it’s time to take things seriously,” said Errol Flynn, Bendigo Orienteering Society team captain. “None of this jogging into the bush, looking for a flag on a tree, and...

    • Posted July 23, 2016
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  • Star Wars Fans to Hold Rally Against Release of Star Trek Movie in Bendigo

    “We don’t want their kind around here,” stated a man dressed as an Ewok. “Warp drive! That’s not even a thing!” A dispute has erupted as a new Star Trek movie is planned for release in Bendigo...

    • Posted July 14, 2016
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  • Scientists Prove Running on a Treadmill Doesn’t Make You Go Anywhere

    Eight years of research, five years of mathematical modelling and twelve months of trials have all culminated in one demonstration this week. “It is not an optical illusion,” said Dr Philip Shambrook while standing next to a...

    • Posted July 8, 2016
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  • What’s Next For Marilyn?

    “She’s become a friend to the city, and the city has become a friend to her,” said one local. “I no longer tell people I’m passing the fountain. I tell them I’m passing Marilyn,” said another. “What’s...

    • Posted July 6, 2016
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  • Benexit Campaign Officially Launched

    In the bowels of the Shamrock, or is it bowls – I keep getting those two mixed up (would it be bowls?) Bendigo’s Concerned Citizens Council held an announcement. “It’s time Bendigo seized control of its destiny,”...

    • Posted June 26, 2016
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  • Teenager At Shamrock Hotel Talks About Elephant in Room

    Garth Brooks, 18, from California Gully, was unaware of the faux pas he was making. “There was a freaking elephant in the room!” he said with eyes wide. Yes, a four metre tall, 6 tonne African elephant...

    • Posted June 12, 2016
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  • Golden Square Man Looks For Positives in Girlfriend Moving In With Him

    “There’ll be sex on tap I suppose,” reasoned Mr Kydin Yeast, 27, Golden Square, as his girlfriend, Ms Aimlee Williams, 26, plans to move in with him. “She could also help with washing the dishes and doing...

    • Posted June 6, 2016
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