All posts tagged "Breaking"

  • Long Gully Rapper Learns He Ain’t As Cool As He Thought He Was

    A 13 year old boy from Long Gully learned a hard lesson on life when he found out he’s not as cool at rapping as he thought he was. The boy known to his homies as ‘Lil...

    • Posted November 13, 2018
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  • Coin-Operated Paywall Failure

    The Bendigo Standard was today restored to its last-known-good state, after attempts to install the internet’s first coin-operated paywall ended in disaster. “I’m not sure exactly what went wrong” said Mike Elliott, editor-in-chief of the Standard. “I...

    • Posted November 13, 2018
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  • 29 Year Old Potter Fan Still Waiting For Letter From Hogwarts

    Bendigo’s biggest Harry Potter fan, 29 year old Mary Clunes from Eaglehawk is still waiting for her acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She has been waiting since her 11th birthday but it never...

    • Posted November 13, 2018
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  • Kangaroo Flat Bus Evacuated After Woman Farts

    A fart on a local Bendigo bus has caused an evacuation shortly after 4pm today. The number 55 bus headed to Kangaroo Flat was evacuated after passengers complained of an overwhelming egg smell, light nausea and dry-retching....

    • Posted November 12, 2018
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  • Local Apprentice Questions Naming of Blues And Roots Festival

    After a weekend packed with alcohol and live music a local apprentice was left disappointed after months of anticipation. “Where were all the roots?” Jacob Taylor, 18, laughed. “I’ve heard so much about this festival, the guys...

    • Posted November 12, 2018
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  • Your Horoscope – Week Of November 12, 2018

    Here are your Horoscopes for this week.   ♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21 There’s a video of you on YouTube that you should probably investigate. • Your fun side comes out in obscene ways. • Don’t...

    • Posted November 12, 2018
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  • Ballarat To Merge With Bendigo

    An announcement was made on Friday that Ballarat would merge with Bendigo to make one super city named Bendirat. The move has excited Ballarat residents as they have always believed Bendigo to not be as crap as...

    • Posted November 11, 2018
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  • Bendigo Is A Left Foot First Society

    In a recent poll Bendigo was quizzed on whether they put their left shoe or right shoe on first. “The left foot was a step ahead,” said Bendigo Standard statistician Tony Blue, 56, from Jackass Flat. Yes,...

    • Posted November 11, 2018
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  • Blues & Roots Festival Not As Sad or Sexy As Name Suggests

    The Bendigo Blues & Roots Festival is in its diggity year, and none are more disappointed than Grumpy McBum, 47, from Pasco Vale. “Every year I come here with a box of tissues to cry and get...

    • Posted November 10, 2018
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  • Comedy Gig Coming: Darkness and Light – Fri 16 Nov

    Darkness and Light is back for an epic, one night only special at the beautiful Capital Theatre. Once again MCd by creator and producer, Cath Styles, this year’s show’s line-up is amazing, and features… Nick Cody .....

    • Posted November 9, 2018
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