All posts tagged "Breaking"

  • Beer Wankers Replace Wine Wankers as Most Annoying Wankers

    A recent Morgan-Gallen poll of wankers has given top billing to beer snobs, edging out wine buffs, politicians, teenage boys, and people who take photos of themselves. One of these beer wankers is Barry Cassidy, 27, of...

    • Posted August 25, 2018
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  • Local Man Buys Mop From Bunnings To Clean Up Lib Spill

    Local man Bob Jacobs from Eaglehawk announced on social media he got a deal on some mops to help clean up the Lib Spill. “I can’t believe the deal I got.” Mr Jacobs said. “I picked up...

    • Posted August 24, 2018
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  • Zimbabwe sends officials to Australia to assist with orderly change of government leader

    A delegation from the Zimbabwean government will arrive in Australia shortly to provide advice and support to the Australian government during it’s impending leadership change. “Some of these countries have a long history of policital instability, corruption...

    • Posted August 24, 2018
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  • Crate Man to Challenge for the Leader of Australia

    There are few in Australian politics with more charisma, panache, and honesty as Crate Man. If there’s an issue affecting Australia, Crate Man has been there, supporting in true Aussies spirit – by not yanking anyones chain....

    • Posted August 24, 2018
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  • Chips at the National Hotel

    These exquisite portions of potato have been sliced and fried, much like a Christian during the 1500s age of martyrs– the act has made them saintly. Drizzled upon is a salty herb salt mix that has hint...

    • Posted August 23, 2018
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  • Local Teen Gets Coles Mini’s Stuck In His Butt

    A local teenager on Saturday night was rushed to emergency after a dare went wrong. The young man was taking part in a new craze known as “Colesing” and dared by his friends to stick as many...

    • Posted August 23, 2018
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  • Bendigo Bank Still Better Than Bank of Melbourne

    It was relaunched in 2009 as Westpac sort to cash in on a sense of “local” that pinko, green-o, communists of Melbourne claim to love – while eating New Zealand truffles and drinking Cambodian coffee. Since then...

    • Posted August 22, 2018
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  • Strathfieldsaye Man Convinced Blood Donations Go Straight to Vampires

    Gareth Reynolds, 78, Strahtfieldsaye, has been donating blood for the past 37 years. “It’s all going to vampires!!!” he says, after watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer for the first time on the weekend. “Sure Mr Reynolds. Vampires,”...

    • Posted August 21, 2018
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  • “Immigrants Have Done Nothing For This Country,” Says Son of Immigrants

    Niall de Niall, 37, Queensland, was in Bendigo to celebrate 1044 days since the first Mosque Rally in Bendigo. “So many memories,” said Mr de Niall. “It was the first time I got to ride a tram.”...

    • Posted August 20, 2018
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  • Hot Topic: Would you drink it?

    Yesterday a stubby of beer, labelled Carlton Dry, was found in a supermarket car park. “It doesn’t look open,” said one interested punter. It appeared to have been left behind, forgotten like a cat in a box...

    • Posted August 19, 2018
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