All posts tagged "Breaking"

  • Pinch And Punch For First Day Of The Month Ends In Bloody Mess

    “She started it,” said Kymbilly Jones, 23, from Sailors Gully. “Narr, she bloody started it,” said Jaxson-Lee Smith, 23, Maiden Gully. In the Lansell Plaza/Square near the food court/dive a fracas erupted when one friend pinched another....

    • Posted November 1, 2018
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  • Carpet Bizarre Store still going out of Business Baffles Scientists

    “It’s like living in limbo,” said Mark Trompson, owner and salesmen at the Carpet Bizarre, “I have so much stock still sitting out the back for what feels like decades.” Mr. Trompson stated while putting up yet...

    • Posted October 31, 2018
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  • The Bendigo Cup Form Guide

    It’s the race that stops a regional Victorian municipality, as Bendigo people, desperate for some excuse to get into their finest garments and piss-on like Uni students, watch horses be whipped and forced to run around an...

    • Posted October 31, 2018
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  • Local Man Gets Arm Replaced With Claw Machine Claw

    An Epsom Man had his left arm amputated last week after it became stuck in a claw machine at Centro Lansell. The man was trying recover chocolates from the vending machine when the claw refused to let...

    • Posted October 30, 2018
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  • Young Girl Trapped Inside Cage to Celebrate the Coming of Summer

    “Isn’t it wonderful, with the spring, and flowers, and warmer weather. It just makes you want to dress in black and kill things,” said Ian Grey, 41, Flora Hill. It’s that time of year again when primary...

    • Posted October 30, 2018
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  • Bendigo Comedy Gigs in November

    November… Friday 16 November – Darkness & Light – Capital Theatre – https://www.facebook.com/events/251928765473386/ Thursday 22 November – Handle Bar Comedy – https://www.facebook.com/events/234310137246020/ Tuesday 27 November – Cambrian Comedy Lab – Open Mic at the Cambrian Hotel new...

    • Posted October 29, 2018
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  • Exclusive: Number 42 Identified As King Of The Bins

    It’s bin night in Golden Square, and only one person knows which bins to put out. “Oh you know, the responsibility is huge but I would never have it any other way,” said Mr Williams, 47, Golden...

    • Posted October 28, 2018
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  • Exam Advice From the Bendigo Standard

    The Bendigo Standard didn’t become Bendigo’s number 2 source of Long Gully facts by following the “rules”. So here are our tips for school exam success: – If in doubt choose C. – Remember, you can go...

    • Posted October 27, 2018
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  • Poo Evacuates New Kangaroo Flat Pool

    The Gurri Wanyarra Wellbeing Centre was closed just hours after opening it’s doors to yesterday after a poo was discovered. The floater was discovered by Elsie Baxter a Mother of 2 who was swimming with her two children....

    • Posted October 27, 2018
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  • Melbourne Has Trams Now Too

    “Bloody hell,” ejaculated Dominic West, 97, Jackass Flat. Mr West was recently in Melbourne on a fact finding mission. “My wife, you see, Myrtle, she has this knee, you know, gosh it has given her strife since...

    • Posted October 23, 2018
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