All posts tagged "Breaking"

  • Eddie McGuire Upset as Stand-up Material is Poorly Received

    Eddie McGuire, 51, should know better, recently tested material from this upcoming stand-up show, I’m not a Caroline Wilson hater but.., while hosting one of his programs. “I’ve been in the public eye for a long time,”...

    • Posted June 21, 2016
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  • Teenager At Shamrock Hotel Talks About Elephant in Room

    Garth Brooks, 18, from California Gully, was unaware of the faux pas he was making. “There was a freaking elephant in the room!” he said with eyes wide. Yes, a four metre tall, 6 tonne African elephant...

    • Posted June 12, 2016
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  • 3 Injured In Lightsaber and Nunchuck Fight

    3 Kangaroo Flat men have been arrested by Police this morning and charged with attempted murder after injuring each other with Star Wars lightsabers and a nunchuck. The three unnamed men aged 26, 28 and 29 were...

    • Posted June 7, 2016
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  • Golden Square Man Looks For Positives in Girlfriend Moving In With Him

    “There’ll be sex on tap I suppose,” reasoned Mr Kydin Yeast, 27, Golden Square, as his girlfriend, Ms Aimlee Williams, 26, plans to move in with him. “She could also help with washing the dishes and doing...

    • Posted June 6, 2016
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  • Marilyn Monroe Statue To Be Replaced With Rod Fyffe

    The Bendigo Council announced today that a statue local Mayor and legend Rod Fyffe will replace Marilyn Monroe statue when the Marilyn exhibition finishes in July. Bruce Hogwood from the Bendigo Art Gallery said “Rod Fyffe is...

    • Posted June 1, 2016
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  • Bendigo to Become Next Hub for Australian Space Exploration

    “Why not?” said project manager Major Coats. “It’s as good as anywhere else. Maybe not better than Adelaide, or, ah,” he pauses to think, “Narr, actually Bendigo’s slightly better than Adelaide I reckon.” The $1.3b project is...

    • Posted May 30, 2016
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  • Young Indian Children Found Working in Bendigo Mine

    Astounding scenes this week as children were seen fleeing a Bendigo mine where they had been forced to work. “It’s incomprehensible,” said Dr Henry Jones Jr, a Professor of Archaeology at Marshall College, USA. “How they managed...

    • Posted May 21, 2016
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  • Bendigo Winemakers Festival Aims to Avoid Beer Wankers

    “We’ll be having none of this North American hops, IXPAL, Summertime Draught Ale, filtered through a watermelon crap,” says Winemaker Festival organiser Sir Reginald Reginald Reginald IV OM. “It’s red and white wine we got. That’s it!”...

    • Posted May 5, 2016
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  • Ex-Bendigo mayor Peter Cox apologises for Depp and Heard Video

    Former Bendigo Mayor Peter Cox has been made to apologise for the Johnny Depp Amber Heard Video. This was after an independent panel made a misconduct finding against former Bendigo mayor Peter Cox and ordered him to...

    • Posted April 21, 2016
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  • Melbourne Man Gives Lecture in Bendigo on How to Make a Proper Coffee

    Giovanni Ribisi III, 29, arrived in Bendigo and was quickly displeased. “A black latte has the froth removed from a standard latte and added post, I say, post crema,” he said, gesticulating wildly. “That’s the way it’s...

    • Posted April 20, 2016
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