All posts tagged "Breaking"

  • Sacred Heart Cathedral To Be Transformed Into Hogwarts

    Bendigo Council decided today to go ahead with the $20 million redevelopment of Sacred Heart Cathedral that will see it turned into the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Next year the school will be introducing be...

    • Posted April 19, 2016
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  • Bendigo Mall-Rats Arrested For Being Polite

    A group of 20 teenagers were arrested for being polite in the Hargreaves Mall today. The kids aged between 13-18 were being sociable and polite when a citizens arrest was made. 86 year old Grandmother Martha Gertrude was...

    • Posted April 13, 2016
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  • Secret Revealed: Bendigo Founded on Fools Gold

    To the naked eye gold and fools gold look quite different, or rather they look the same except that fools gold looks a lot better. “It glitters in a way real gold don’t do,” says Snitchy McSnitch-Snitch....

    • Posted April 11, 2016
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  • Bendigo’s Biggest Potter Fan Still Waiting For Letter From Hogwarts

    Bendigo’s biggest Harry Potter fan, 29 year old Mary Clunes from Eaglehawk is still waiting for her acceptance letter from Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. She has been waiting since her 11th birthday but it never...

    • Posted April 4, 2016
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  • UPF: “We Hate Puppies and Kittens”

    United Patriots Front, a populist far-right street protest movement, announced on their Twitter feed last night they hate puppies and kittens. “Muslims are training cats and dogs to take over Australia with their cuteness” said head honcho Willie Powell....

    • Posted April 2, 2016
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  • Stupid Man Mistakes Bendigo for Ballarat

    Confusing scenes at Bendigo’s Information Centre yesterday as a man refused to accept he had driven two hours to Bendigo rather than Ballarat. “He kept demanding to see the old place where people wear old clothes and...

    • Posted April 2, 2016
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  • New Non-deadly creature found in Bendigo

    Wildlife expert John Michael’s claims to have identified a new harmless Hipster living wild in the coffee shops of Bendigo. The find may qualify for a $1000 prize offered by Zoo’s Victoria. The Young Urban Creative Hipster...

    • Posted April 1, 2016
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  • Church Tells St. Kilda Saints To Change Name

    The Catholic Church is petitioning the St Kilda Saints to “please, already, drop the word Saints from the name of the AFL football team.” “You can call yourselves the St. Kilda Devils,” the petition asserts. It is not...

    • Posted March 30, 2016
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  • Long Gully P-Plater Caught Doing Speed Limit

    An 18 year old was clocked doing 50 km/h in a 50 limit street in Long Gully overnight. Sargent John Johnson of Bendigo Highway Patrol was shocked by the incident. “He’s giving probationary drivers everywhere a bad...

    • Posted March 29, 2016
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  • 80 Injured In Easter Parade iPad Fight

    This year’s Bendigo Easter Parade has been left in turmoil. A fight broke out after Jeff Gregson, 42 from Maiden Gully videoed the parade on his iPad attached to a selfie stick and blocked the view of...

    • Posted March 27, 2016
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