All posts tagged "Featured"

  • Evil Genius Captures Giant Heart in Bendigo And Ties It To The Ground For Ransom

    “There was a while there when they said Bendigo didn’t have a heart,” said Nasty McEvil, 47, from Mackenzie St West. “Well look at us now, ha ha ha.” Basically it’s an inflated balloon in the shape...

    • Posted November 16, 2018
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  • Woman At Work Accidentally Selects Herself As Secret Santa

    A Strathfieldsaye Woman accidentally drew her own name out of a hat for a work Kris Kringle this week. The woman chose to be anonymous so her Secret Santa didn’t know it was her. Her work said...

    • Posted November 16, 2018
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  • BREAKING: Giggle & Hoot Cancelled. Hoot The Owl’s Dark Past Revealed

    ABC announced last night that Preschoolers (and mum’s) favourite duo Giggle & Hoot have parted ways. Hoot The Owl’s seedy past was revealed last night on A Current Affair that he is not that lovable owl kids...

    • Posted November 16, 2018
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  • Epsom Road Works Joins Great Wall of China As Only Man Made Structure Visible From The Moon

    The International Space Station has been in contact with the Bendigo Standard. “Я не говорю по-испански,” said Russian Vodka, 38, from the Space Station. It seems that a glancing eyeball in Earth’s direction has brought the space...

    • Posted November 16, 2018
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  • TAFE To Offer Course On How To Eat A Bunnings Snag

    Bendigo TAFE announced today it will be running a course on Bunnings Snags Etiquette. The course comes in the wake of a man slipping on a piece of onion in the store. The 20 week course will...

    • Posted November 15, 2018
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  • Bendigo Council To Introduce 5 New Bins

    More than 200,000 new bins will start being delivered to households in the Bendigo and surrounding areas from next week. Bendigo council announced it will introduce 5 new bins for households. The bins will dispose of almost...

    • Posted November 15, 2018
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  • What’s The Deal With The Palm Tree On The Building

    “Crazy. I point this out every few weeks and nobody seems to notice it’s there,” said Doug A. Hole, 39, of Golden Square. Up on high, if you look from the Pall Mall corner, over the fountain,...

    • Posted November 15, 2018
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  • Eaglehawk Town Hall To Be Demolished For A Costco

    Bendigo Council has announced plans to demolish the Eaglehawk Town Hall and make way for Bendigo’s first Costco. The decades old building home to Star Cinema, screened its final movie BMX Bandits last night after 120 consecutive...

    • Posted November 14, 2018
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  • Rod Fyffe’s Hair To Serve As Mayor

    Days after being re-elected as Mayor, Margaret O’Rourke has resigned. In a shocking twist, Rod Fyffe’s Hair will serve as Mayor instead. Just like the man himself, Rod Fyffe’s hair has a larger-than-life personality. “I’ve been watching...

    • Posted November 14, 2018
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  • Face Of Jesus Found In Long Gully Piece Of Bread

    “Oh he looks happy,” said Numb Nutts, 22, of Long Gully. The piece of bread was purchased from the Maiden Gully IGA. “The blessed maiden Mary sold me this ciabatta loaf for two bucks ‘cause it was...

    • Posted November 14, 2018
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