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Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 1

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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Dahlia & Arts Festival Plunges Into Chaos as Inflatable T-Rex Breaks Loose

Local News
In what was meant to be a quaint celebration of community spirit, the annual Dahlia & Arts Festival parade took an unexpected turn when a...

Meatstock’s Dad Bod Contest Draws Record Number of Applicants, All Named Jeff

Local News
Meatstock's Dad Bod Contest has shattered records this year, attracting an unprecedented number of applicants—all named Jeff. With thousands flocking to the festival grounds for a...

Richmond Fans Begin Lining Up for Grand Final Tickets After Round 1 Victory

Sport
Following Richmond’s stunning 13-point comeback victory over Carlton in the opening round of the AFL season, thousands of delirious Tigers fans have already begun camping...

Teens To Compete In Hunger Games: Because Beating Up Security Guard Not Enough Of A Challenge

Law & Order
In a bold move to curb violence and channel the energy of the region's most notorious troublemakers, the QEO has announced it will host the...

Bendigo Measles Outbreak Blamed On 5G Towers: ‘It’s Clearly The Only Logical Explanation,’ Say Locals

Health
In what experts call "a groundbreaking new theory in medical science," local Facebook epidemiologists have determined that the city's 5G towers have caused the recent...

Your Horoscope – Week Of March 3, 2025

Horoscopes
♓ PISCES You’ll spend the week convincing everyone you're totally fine. No one believes you, but at least you’ve successfully gaslit yourself.

Local Claims to Have Found Fountain of Youth—Turns Out It’s Just the Long Gully Splash Park

Health
LONG GULLY—A local woman’s dreams of eternal youth have been shattered after realising the Fountain of Youth she discovered was, in fact, the Long Gully...

Early Bird Uses Beach Cabana To Secure Easter Parade Viewing Spot

Local News
Local man Jim Wallace has elevated the concept of “saving a spot” to unparalleled heights by setting up a full-sized beach cabana on Pall Mall,...

Liam Neeson Set To Obliterate Castlemaine In New Action Flick

Movies
Known for his near-mythical ability to turn the mundane into edge-of-your-seat spectacles, Liam Neeson's latest movie, The Mongoose, will see him transform Castlemaine into a...

Rosalind Park Bats Demand Relocation of Bendigo Humans

Local News
In a surprising turn of events, the notoriously elusive bats of Rosalind Park have issued a formal demand for the relocation of Bendigo's human population...
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