Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 21

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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BREAKING! King Bowser Does Not Work At Bowser Bean

Local News 0
King Bowser has shocked his followers by announcing that he does not work at Bowser Bean. Rumours have been circulating for years that Bowser had traded...

Holy Shit! Macca’s Frozen Coke Machine Actually Works

Food & Drink 0
McDonald’s customers were left shocked after discovering the fast food giant’s frozen Coke machine was working properly. Shaarn Gibbs pulled into the Kangaroo Flat Maccas drive-thru...

I’m The Eaglehawk Cannon And I Want My Balls Back

Bendigo Voices 0
Oh, woe is me, a cannon without balls! I feel so useless and empty, like a clown without his nose or a banana without its...

Local Woman Convinced Fitted Sheets Don’t Want Folding

Local News 0
In a groundbreaking discovery that has sent shockwaves through the bedding world, Kangaroo Flat's Sharon Smithington realized that fitted sheets are not designed to be...

Ratepayers Can’t Wait To See How The Council Spends Their Hard Earned Money

Local News 0
Local ratepayer, Gary Farke, can hardly contain his excitement as he anticipates how his city council will waste his pay. "It's like Christmas come early!" exclaimed...

Locals Disappointed There’s No Hoverboards In The Garden Of The Future

Local News 0
Resident Jimmy Carkeys expressed his disappointment yesterday after visiting the Garden of the Future and discovering no hoverboards. "This is supposed to be the Garden of...

Bendigo Council Votes To Rename Huntly to Moist

Local News 0
Bendigo City Council has announced renaming the suburb of Huntly to Moist. “We are excited to announce that we are changing the name of Huntly to...

Building Evacuated After Work Colleague Sprays Lynx Africa

Local News 0
A colleague was forced to evacuate the building after spraying a copious amount of Lynx Africa deodorant. The incident left the entire office gasping for...

Uber Eats Driver Eats Customer’s Order To Prove Point on Unsanitary Working Conditions

Food & Drink 0
In a bold and courageous demonstration of the unsafe working conditions faced by Uber Eats drivers, local Uber Driver Mark Fraggle, chowed down on a...

Mario Wonders How Luigi Can Afford A Haunted Mansion In Bendigo On A Plumbers Salary

Local News 0
Mario, the famous Italian plumber and video game icon, expressed his bewilderment today at how his brother Luigi purchased a luxurious haunted mansion in Bendigo...
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