Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 6

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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Triple M Renamed Claude FM Because He’s The Local You Know

Triple M station has decided to rename itself Claude FM. Why, you ask? Well, according to station executives, Claude is the guy who knows Bendigo...

New Survey Results Reveal Bendigonians Were Conceived On Mickey Mouse Hill

A surprising new survey has been released today from Latrobe University stating that most Bendigonians were conceived on Mickey Mouse Hill. A survey of 2000 people...

Miracle Baby Born At Long Gully Splash Park

Long Gully Splash Park can now add "maternity ward" to its impressive list of features. In an incident that can only be described as the...

Council to Fix Potholes by Removing All Roads

City of Greater Bendigo has declared an audacious plan to eliminate the problem altogether: removing all the roads. Mayor Andrea Metcalf announced the radical initiative,...

6-Year-Old Make-A-Wish Cop Nabs Own Parents

Timmy, a 6-year-old Make-A-Wish recipient, riding shotgun with veteran cop Mick McCrann, caught his parents using a phone while driving. The pint-sized officer wasted no time...

Man Declares Victory in the Correct Way to Pronounce ‘Ulumbarra’

Dave Henderson declared an unprecedented victory in an argument destined to outlast time itself: the correct pronunciation of "Ulumbarra." Witnesses report that the man, fueled...

Coles Busker Wins Grammy

In an unexpected turn of events, Bendigo's very own Coles busker has clinched a Grammy Award for "Best Album That Shoppers Half-Heard While Searching for...

Bendigo Residents Brace for Trashpocalypse as Bin Night Goes Fortnightly

In their infinite wisdom, the city council has decided that we all have too much excitement in our lives and need a breather between taking...

Pizza Guy Is Probably High

In a groundbreaking display of unwavering commitment to his craft, local pizza guy Dave "Doughboy" Dobson has achieved unprecedented job satisfaction – or perhaps just...

Local Prep Grader Declares Early Retirement, Demands Golden Watch and Pension After Exhausting First Week of School

Little Timmy Thompson has officially declared himself "done" after just one week of prep grade. Sources close to the situation report that Timmy has submitted...

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