Falcon Monaro | Editor-in-chief - Page 9

Editor-in-chief of The Bendigo Standard and an excellent parallel parker. "In the criminal justice system, the people are represented by two separate yet equally important groups. The police who investigate crime and the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders. These are their stories." *Dun Dun*
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Outrage as Santa Demands Milk Alternatives for Lactose Intolerant Elves

Local News 0
In a shocking turn of events at the North Pole, Santa Claus declared a state of emergency, demanding milk alternatives for his lactose-intolerant elves. Outraged...

Mum Yells Every Other Siblings Name Before Yours

Parenting 0
A Bendigo mum and full-time name juggler has once again demonstrated her uncanny ability to shout out the names of all her children except yours....

“Wallet Wizard? More Like Wallet Muggle” Claims Local

National News 0
In a shocking revelation that has left the citizens of Bendigo questioning their financial choices, Wallet Wizard has been exposed for what it truly is...

Bendigo Man Attends Office Christmas Party, Still Can’t Remember Colleague’s Name

Local News 0
In a heroic display of social awkwardness, a Bendigo man valiantly attended his office Christmas party and emerged with a stunning achievement—he still can't remember...

Local Puts ‘Christ Back Into Christmas’ by Spending A Small Fortune on Gifts

Local News 0
Kim Jingleton from Strathfieldsaye has achieved the unthinkable: spending a jaw-dropping $10,000 on gifts and miraculously putting the "Christ" back into Christmas. Friends and family are...

Bendigo Health Introduces “Coffee IV Drips” for Caffeine Enthusiasts

Food & Drink 0
Bendigo Health has proudly rolled out its latest wellness venture: the revolutionary "Coffee IV Drips." Who needs traditional methods of caffeine consumption when you can...

Jane Bunn Predicts Unprecedented 100% Chance of Weather

National News 0
In a meteorological revelation that has left even the most seasoned forecasters scratching their heads, weather guru Jane Bunn has confidently declared a groundbreaking prediction...

Eaglehawk Family Angry Only Yellow Zooper Doopers Are Left

Food & Drink 0
An Eaglehawk family are outraged after discovering only yellow Zooper Doopers are left. The parents are questioning how the frozen sugar sticks ran out so...

Residents Flock to Witness The Opening of An Envelope

Local News 0
Throngs of Bendigo locals descended upon the Town Hall yesterday to witness the grand opening of an envelope. The envelope, which sources believed contained a rates...

45-Year-Old Discovers Age Pension Is Actually 22 Years Away, not 20 Years Away As First Thought

Local News 0
Previously convinced he was a mere two decades away from sipping cocktails on a beach with his age pension, Terry Thompson is now frantically recalculating...
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