“You know the waste of space near St. John of God? No not Ironbark, I mean that big empty land where the gold mine was. Yeah there, we’re going to put a new marketplace here,” said Jim Bollocks, 34, of Kangaroo Flat. It is to...
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A Strathfieldsaye Woman accidentally drew her own name out of a hat for a work Kris Kringle this week. The woman chose to be anonymous so her Secret Santa didn't know it was her. Her work said there was a $25 limit but decided to...
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The Bendigo Standard was today restored to its last-known-good state, after attempts to install the internet's first coin-operated paywall ended in disaster. "I'm not sure exactly what went wrong" said Mike Elliott, editor-in-chief of the Standard. "I mean, I followed all the instructions: installed the...
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“Ok, so, look, the coffers are a bit dingy,” said a secret council member, “So we got together and thought up this idea, see, right, ok, what we do is start mining again.” It’s been, well, Fosterville is still mining in Bendigo so the whole...
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Extra self-service checkouts have been installed in Golden Square, and the locals couldn't be happier. "Volunteering is a great thing, and there's no better business to support," said one local. Yes, slavery, or unpaid work, used to be a dirty word. "But if it's volunteering...
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Raise your hand if you are looking for money and can't find it? Throughout the world money/currency after Britain's Brexit is becoming scarce. What is the solution you ask? Well look no further.... Australia's currency is now M&M's, those great chocolate treats! Both peanut and...
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Milk availability has been questioned in recent weeks. However the Bendigo Standard has come across a supplier who says that availability is not an issue. “Milk? I can get you milk -sniff-. What kind of milk do you want man? -sniff- What kind do you...
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A leading supermarket chain is aiming to win praise for fixing a problem it helped create. In a shallow attempt at positive PR, the supermarket – which can't be named because they'd love the free advertising – is creating a charity brand of milk and...
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To the naked eye gold and fools gold look quite different, or rather they look the same except that fools gold looks a lot better. “It glitters in a way real gold don't do,” says Snitchy McSnitch-Snitch. “That's what suckered them in.” Mr. McSnitch-Snitch has...
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