“What’s the deal with double weighing my garlic huh?” said Doug Spencer, 65, of One Tree Hill. Mr Spencer was found to be very angry, standing outside the supermarket near where #Hashtag used to be. (remember #Hashtag Bar? No? That’s probably why it’s no longer...
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The winner of last Thursday's $30 million Powerball has come to an agreement with Bendigo Council to buy Bendigo's bogan Bronx aka Long Gully for an undisclosed amount. The unidentified winner told The Bendigo Standard he intends to demolish the suburb and replace it with a...
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An Elderly man has bragged to his bowls club mates this week about how he saved a $1 in fuel last year simply by rounding down. Albert Gulp from Quarry Hill said "I usually put $20.02 of fuel in the car when I fill up...
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19-year-old Bendigo Man, Eric McGregor, has taken to Bendigo Buy Swap and Sell to try and hock the drone his parent bought him for Christmas. Eric’s parents paid $399.99 for the Dream GPS Wifi 1080P drone yet the ungrateful git has been a sly dog...
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Lance Thomas, 43 of Strathfieldsaye, has the look of a beaten man after taking his wife and three daughters to the Boxing Day sales in Chadstone today. Speaking as if survived a natural disaster, the accounts manager said “It took us two hours to drive...
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A Strathfieldsaye Woman accidentally drew her own name out of a hat for a work Kris Kringle this week. The woman chose to be anonymous so her Secret Santa didn't know it was her. Her work said there was a $25 limit but decided to...
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The Bendigo Standard was today restored to its last-known-good state, after attempts to install the internet's first coin-operated paywall ended in disaster. "I'm not sure exactly what went wrong" said Mike Elliott, editor-in-chief of the Standard. "I mean, I followed all the instructions: installed the...
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“Ok, so, look, the coffers are a bit dingy,” said a secret council member, “So we got together and thought up this idea, see, right, ok, what we do is start mining again.” It’s been, well, Fosterville is still mining in Bendigo so the whole...
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Extra self-service checkouts have been installed in Golden Square, and the locals couldn't be happier. "Volunteering is a great thing, and there's no better business to support," said one local. Yes, slavery, or unpaid work, used to be a dirty word. "But if it's volunteering...
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Raise your hand if you are looking for money and can't find it? Throughout the world money/currency after Britain's Brexit is becoming scarce. What is the solution you ask? Well look no further.... Australia's currency is now M&M's, those great chocolate treats! Both peanut and...
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