Smuggling food into movies may be a thing of the past after Bendigo Cinemas announced the debut of their new body scanners. The scanners will restrict outside food, drinks, video cameras and multiple people hiding in trench coats. Bendigo Cinemas spokesperson said, "During a trial,...
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The City Of Greater Bendigo has announced today they have officially changed White Hills to Flat White. A spokesperson said "We realised that White Hills has more coffee shops than hills. The name is no longer relevant." Flat White Mayor John Thongsong said, "White Hills...
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Local Dad of 4 from Eaglehawk has asked his wife if it's time to wear the shorts she got him from Fathers Day yet. Gavin Bogg said "It's supposed to be about 25 today, darl. Maybe I should chance it." His wife Sheila said "When...
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Beginning from Friday, November 1, your favourite newspaper will be distributed for free every Friday to more than 50,000 homes, fish & chips shops and pubs across Bendigo and the surrounding region. We thought "Hey, the market for a free weekly publication in paper form...
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A Maiden Gully couple has been left shocked and dismayed after their 13-year-old son Lucas received 10 boxes of glass pipes from the Wish.com. "I was just trying to buy computer parts and stuff to build my own computer" Lucas explained, "It's not like the...
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A couple of local The Block fans (or 'blockheads') are planning to undergo their first bathroom renovation just in time for Christmas after acknowledging they have never even fixed a running toilet. "We learned all we need from watching The Block. Scott Cam is our...
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“What’s the deal with double weighing my garlic huh?” said Doug Spencer, 65, of One Tree Hill. Mr Spencer was found to be very angry, standing outside the supermarket near where #Hashtag used to be. (remember #Hashtag Bar? No? That’s probably why it’s no longer...
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Next term, all Victorian schools will trial a Zombie Apocalypse Survival Drill. The Victorian Department Of Education believes the drill will prepare students for an imminent zombie attack. The Zombie Apocalypse Survival Drill is a simulated emergency procedure which aims to emulate the processes which...
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The City of Greater Bendigo has announced the employment of Kenny the plumber to clean and maintain the public toilets. The City Of Greater Bendigo told The Bendigo Standard "Nobody wants to touch the public toilets. We've had 25 cleaners quit in the past year." According...
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Local Man Theodore Lane from Kangaroo Flat announced on Social Media today he is finally taking down last years Christmas decorations after the Bendigo Council sent a letter ordering them to be removed. The decorated house includes 20 km of lights, a DJ blasting Christmas...
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