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Local News

Bendigo’s Oldest Pothole Nominated for State Heritage Listing

Bendigo's oldest and most treacherous pothole has been nominated for state heritage listing. The pothole, estimated to have formed during the last Ice Age, has...

Locals Resort to Selling Organs As Fuel Prices Soar

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo locals have discovered a revolutionary solution to the ever-increasing fuel prices: selling their organs on the black...

Local Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Council’s Sinister Plot: They’re Planting Trees

Self-proclaimed truth-seeker and conspiracy enthusiast Jerry McQuirk has unveiled what he calls a "chilling conspiracy of botanical proportions." According to McQuirk, City of Greater...

Marong Plans To Move Entire Town 2 Metres To The Left; Feng Shui Master Consulted

The City of Greater Marong has announced its audacious plan to shift the entire suburb 2 metres to the left. To improve its energy...

Victoria Bans Gas Connections, Opting for Power from Politicians’ Hot Air Instead

The Victorian government has taken a decisive step in its commitment to sustainability by announcing a ban on gas connections for new residential dwellings....

Local Invents Time Machine, Travels to Future. Discovers He Still Has HECS Debt

In what was initially hailed as a groundbreaking scientific achievement, local inventor and part-time barista Derek Sprocket shocked the world when he successfully built...

Local Man Claims Yowie Sighting, Turns Out to Be Hairy Neighbour Taking Out the Trash

Resident bushman Bruce McDougall claimed a groundbreaking Yowie sighting in Marong, only to discover it was his hairy neighbour, Gary Williams, putting his bins...

Jumper Cables Missing, Police Have No Leads

Bendigo Police are scratching their heads as they investigate the mysterious disappearance of a pair of jumper cables. The report arrived early yesterday morning...

Spider-Man Fan Says He Would Avenge His Uncle’s Death, But Not That Creepy One

28-year-old Tim Spencer revealed that should he find himself with Spider-Man's superpowers he would avenge his uncle's death, but not creepy Uncle Jerry. "I've always...

Flying Foxes Turns Rosalind Park into Unexpected Thrill-Seekers’ Playground

Bendigo's premier park has become ground zero for an unprecedented flying fox invasion. Residents now fear walking through Rosalind Park as they might fall...