Bendigo Health welcomed Dr Google to its team this week. Patients are free to tell Dr Google their symptoms and he will give a rough diagnosis and a second opinion with 60% accuracy. Hypercondriacs with life-threatening illnesses will get a response instantly. Bendigo Health representative...
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Manual labour will soon be a thing of the past after the Bendigo Council deployed an army of robot mowers this week. At an official ceremony this morning, Mayor Margaret O'Rouke said: "I, for one, welcome our new robot mower overlords." "We bring you love,"...
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The building of Bendigo’s first mosque has been thrown some curly questions. “The designs are missing,” said Gus McGuff, local labourer and all-round nice guy. The Bendigo Standard can report that a holo-disc containing the super secret designs to the super secret mosque have been...
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A local coffee shop got more than they bargained for this morning. 25-year-old Gaige Anderson dropped into Get Naked Espresso Bar for a morning coffee on the way to work but accidentally exchanged his work suit for a birthday suit before entering the premises. "There's...
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Bendigo Council is planning a month-long street festival to celebrate the completion of the $30 million Napier Street upgrade. The entire new road will be closed for the entire month during the Upgrade Festival. Bob Gosh, President of The Napier Street Society Committee said "We...
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Traders in Hargreaves Mall are trying to keep shoppers away from the mall and their businesses. The loop of “Baby Shark” and “Raining Tacos” is a temporary fix to keep shoppers away from the mall. "Who needs people?" said one shop owner. "Silence is golden."...
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An award-winning lamb is currently under investigation and may be stripped of its title after veterinarians at the Australian Sheep and Wool Show in Bendigo found illegal drugs in its system. Lamb Armstrong, a grand champion lamb was given performance-enhancing drugs (PEDs), which is banned...
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It's finally done - No joke. The Napier Street upgrade has been completed more than 300 years after construction began. Locals are calling for July 19 to be declared a local public holiday. Bob Gosh, President of The Napier Street Society Committee said "The road...
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Five-year-old Bylan Bacardi has been a Babyccino drinker since birth. "It's mothers milk," he says. "It started off as an innocent cafe stop and now he's unable to fight his addiction" his mother Lynwell says. "Babyccino's Are Gateway to Caffeine Addiction." This is a regular...
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Local Dutchman Peter Van Der Noogan was shocked yesterday when he tried to buy shoes from a local pizza shop. "It's is like trying to buy a cat in a bag, you know?" said Van Der Noogan. The local pizza shop did try to offer...
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