Sunday, August 18, 2019

Bendigo News

In a recent poll Bendigo was quizzed on whether they put their left shoe or right shoe on first. "The left foot was a step ahead," said Bendigo Standard statistician Tony Blue, 56, from Jackass Flat. Yes, it seems Bendigo locals put their sinister foot...

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Bendigo's annual Oh-God-Why-Am-I-Doing-This Run has taken place, with many participants wheezing and staggering their way through the course. "Puff, puff, puff, bloody View St, puff, puff, puff, bullshit," said one optimistic and woefully unfit Bendigo resident. The Oh-God-Why-Am-I-Doing-This Run brings together the delusional to shuffle...

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Despite data proving otherwise, a number of Bendigo residents have written to The Bendigo Standard in protest of what they call the Climate Change Hoax.” Apparently soaring temperatures and lack of rain are lost on them, with one resident proudly declaring “huh huh. Sure looks...

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A local teenager today broke the bad news and told her parents they were adopted. 13 year old Sarah Jack from Maiden Gully sat her parents down to break the awful news to them. “I didn’t grow in your tummy. I have a ‘birth mummy...

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