Local News - Page 7

Party Planning Committee Book the Least Entertaining DJ in Bendigo

An office Christmas party planning committee proudly announced that they've successfully booked the least entertaining DJ in Bendigo. The selection process reportedly involved hours...

Scientists Make Groundbreaking Discovery: Summer Is Hot

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo's top-notch scientists have declared a groundbreaking revelation: Summer is, in fact, hot. The Elf on the Shelf-like...

Elf on the Shelf Caught in the Middle of a Festive Swingers Soiree

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo's most innocent holiday tradition, the Elf on the Shelf, has been entangled in a scandalous affair. Reports...

Marketplace Offers Insensitive Santa For Naughty Kids

Until Christmas Eve, Insensitive Santa, specialising in children on Santa’s naughty list, will appear at the Marketplace. He plans to punish those kids with...

Exclusive Interview with Santa: He’s Just Claude with Excellent PR

In a stunning revelation that has shaken the festive world to its snowy core, an exclusive interview with the man behind the myth, Santa...

Bendigo’s Housing Market So Bad, Even Ghosts Can’t Afford to Haunt

In a shocking turn of events, it seems that even Bendigo's spectral residents are feeling the economic pinch of the city's housing market. Reports...

Dan Andrews Spotted Working At Eaglehawk Recycling Centre

Retired Victorian Premier Dan Andrews has been spotted hard at work at the Eaglehawk Recycling Centre in a stunning turn of events, leaving Bendigo...

Bendigo’s Oldest Pothole Nominated for State Heritage Listing

Bendigo's oldest and most treacherous pothole has been nominated for state heritage listing. The pothole, estimated to have formed during the last Ice Age, has...

Locals Resort to Selling Organs As Fuel Prices Soar

In a shocking turn of events, Bendigo locals have discovered a revolutionary solution to the ever-increasing fuel prices: selling their organs on the black...

Local Conspiracy Theorist Discovers Council’s Sinister Plot: They’re Planting Trees

Self-proclaimed truth-seeker and conspiracy enthusiast Jerry McQuirk has unveiled what he calls a "chilling conspiracy of botanical proportions." According to McQuirk, City of Greater...

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