Boring word guy Will Neverme, 24, of Sailors Gully, said of Castlemaine, "Technically speaking a castle is any fortified structure, often with a moat protection but like with sex, as long as there's some protection technically that's enough to qualify." Sounds pretty flimsy. "No, I...
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Eaglehawkians are thrilled to learn that PM Scott Morrison will personally investigate the speed of Eaglehawk traffic lights. Eaglehawk Mayor Clive Hooverdamn welcomed the news. "Every Australian needs good access to traffic lights," the PM said. "Leave it with me." The lights at the Victoria...
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In ground-breaking scenes, American President Donald Trump met one of the greatest pro-wrestlers of all time today. King of the Ring, the Master of Madness, and Head Honcho of the New World Order, the one, the only, Macho Man Randy Savage. “Oooh yeah!” said Mr...
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‘Universal Studios in negotiations with Liberal candidate for Invisible Man movie role’. Bendigo’s own Sam Gayed, Liberal Party candidate for the upcoming election, is in advanced contract negotiations to play the Invisible Man in a remake of the 1933 classic. “We have been super impressed...
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Healthy Harold, The lovable Life Education Giraffe has announced he will run in the Bendigo federal election as an independent. After teaching children for the past 40 years about the dangers of drugs and alcohol and not sit your butt in front of the TV...
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A historic agreement between the city of Greater Bendigo and the US government was signed today. Bendigo council announced the US government will use the bluestone bricks on Trump's border wall. At a press conference early this morning Australian time, Trump said: "Australia and New...
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Almost 80% of Bendigonians will be ineligible to vote in the next council election due to being fans of Married At First Sight. In the latest survey conducted by The Bendigo Standard, 79% of Bendigo can name at least three of the tragics from Married At...
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Bendigo Mayor Margaret O'Rourke is contesting an infringement notice while parked outside of the council office in Lyttleton Terrace. The time limit for parking outside of the council office is 30 minutes. Cr O'Rourke's 1984 VH Commodore was parked for 32 minutes. "This is bull crap. I...
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One of Bendigo's favourite sons Rod Fyffe proudly showed off his new ink last weekend at the Golden Square pool. The shirtless Deputy Mayor flaunted his new back ink of a southern cross tattoo to onlookers. He was proud to show off the new design...
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