Politics

Donald Trump has spared no expense in hiring constitutional law expert Dennis Denuto, as seen in the movie the Castle. "I look forward to Dennis Denuto spearheading the legal effort to defend OUR RIGHT to free and fair elections!" Mr Trump said. Mr Denuto is...

"We haven't got any good candidates," said a Bendigo voter during the recent election. America looks sideways and raises an eyebrow, "There are guys talking about their cars, and women explaining their use of crystals," continued the voter. America eases back on the barstool. "And...

We continue with our last-minute coverage of local candidates. Gerald Shingles I'm 25 and a huge fan of wards. I've been in and out of hospital wards my entire life. My favourite ward is Burt Ward who played Robin in 60's Batman series. I have...

We continue with our last-minute coverage of local candidates. Virginia Bigsnax I was diagnosed at the age of 3 with Benjamin Button syndrome. I may look like I'm 10 but I'm actually 30 something. BBS has not stopped me from volunteering as a lacrosse coach...

Muffin Finsteine Hello, my name is Muffin Finestine. I’m 38 years of old and after six failed businesses I know what it takes to avoid a seventh. I aim to bring this slowly learnt skill to Council. It will be a promise to never invest...

Boring word guy Will Neverme, 24, of Sailors Gully, said of Castlemaine, "Technically speaking a castle is any fortified structure, often with a moat protection but like with sex, as long as there's some protection technically that's enough to qualify." Sounds pretty flimsy. "No, I...

Eaglehawkians are thrilled to learn that PM Scott Morrison will personally investigate the speed of Eaglehawk traffic lights. Eaglehawk Mayor Clive Hooverdamn welcomed the news. "Every Australian needs good access to traffic lights," the PM said. "Leave it with me." The lights at the Victoria...

In ground-breaking scenes, American President Donald Trump met one of the greatest pro-wrestlers of all time today. King of the Ring, the Master of Madness, and Head Honcho of the New World Order, the one, the only, Macho Man Randy Savage. “Oooh yeah!” said Mr...

‘Universal Studios in negotiations with Liberal candidate for Invisible Man movie role’. Bendigo’s own Sam Gayed, Liberal Party candidate for the upcoming election, is in advanced contract negotiations to play the Invisible Man in a remake of the 1933 classic. “We have been super impressed...