With the Golden Square Hotel reopening and aiming to raise the bar of meals in Golden Square, the current Top End market leader, the Hibernian Hotel, has an ace up the sleeve.

“Hot Rock steaks are coming to a car near you,” said Hibo representative Mr Fictional Chap, 52, of Golden Square.

They seem to be drawing a leaf from the old United Kingdom’s play book, remember the drive thru parma they tried to sell? Gosh, man, drive thru parma. What an idea. How did that fail?

“The drive thru parma suffered because of the identity issue. Nobody knew the UK even did food,” said Mr Chap. “But we are established as a fine place for dining, and the Hot Rock brand is something everyone in Bendigo knows and respects.”

The plan is to knock over a few of the swing sets, bung in a driveway next to the kitchen, and Robert’s your Mother’s brother, shove a few heated stone plates through car windows with a piping hunk of meat on top.

“We’ll make sure everyone has a tea towel to lay across their legs while they drive, so they don’t burn themselves, and we’ll supply the best grade plastic knives and forks possible,” said Mr Chap.

It’s an interesting move, aimed at capturing the Melbourne to Mandurang and back again market.

“We’ll also give a discount to people who return their Hot Rock plates and tea towels, kind of like bringing your own coffee cup, but with more meat and a side of chips and salad or chips and veg,” said Mr Chap.

The Hibo Hot Rock Drive Thru is set to open asap, since the Golden Square Hotel is open again and competition is a pain in the arse.