In a stunning display of extroversion, witnesses at The Rifle confirmed Chad Mackenzie, who claims he hasn’t had a drink since June 30, was “absolutely pinging off something”.
“I asked Chad what he was on, and he said self-confidence and Jesus,” said a Rifle team member. “Then he tried ordering two schooners of Coke while shouting ‘MAKE IT A DOUBLE’ like he was in a Tarantino film.”
When asked how he could be participating in Dry July while very obviously inebriated, Chad clarified, “It’s not alcohol, mate. It’s just a little water, malted grains and yeast. Legal as, bro.”
The fundraiser has so far raised $0.10.
He was last seen attempting to enter an Uber through the boot.
