Let’s Make Raisin Toast

Instructions

1. Remove 4 slices of raisin bread from the bag
2. Put the twisty thing back on the bag. You may need to fling the bread around to get it on.
3. Put bread above your head because it’s raisin bread (ha ha, get it?)
4. Put bread in toaster
5. Push the toaster lever down
6. Realise your toaster only cooks 2 slices of bread at a time (See #1)
7. Remove the twisty thing from the bag again and put the other 2 slices back in the back
8. Put the twisty thing back on the bag again
9. Set desired cooking level. Don’t go 5 because you’ll burn it. No one knows why its even an option.
10. When the toast pops throw it in the bin because you’ve just burnt it.
11. Remove 2 slices of raisin bread from the bag
12. Put the twisty thing back on the bag. You may need to fling the bread around to get it on.
13. Put bread in the toaster
14. Push the toaster lever down
15. Set desired cooking level to one less than before.
16. When toast pops throw it in the bin because you’ve just burnt it.
17. Remove 2 slices of raisin bread from the bag
18. Put the twisty thing back on the bag again. You may need to fling the bread around to get it on.
19. Put bread in the toaster
20. Push the toaster lever down
21. Set desired cooking level to one less than before.
22. When toast pops throw it in the bin because you’ve just burnt it
23. Remove another 2 slices of raisin bread from the bag
24. Put the twisty thing back on the bag… again. You may need to fling the bread around to get it on.
25. Put bread in the toaster
26. Push the toaster lever down
27. Set desired cooking level to one less than before
28. When the toast pops put it on the plate
29. Try to find margarine or butter in the fridge. You idiot, there is none.
30. Grab your keys and go to McDonald’s for breakfast instead
31. Come home and look in the pantry. Who the heck put the marge in there?
32. Divorce spouse.