Bendigo has officially overtaken Mount Thomas as Victoria’s crime capital. The announcement came after a recent crime report revealed that Bendigo had surged ahead of Mount Thomas in categories such as “Unsolved Mysteries,” “Mysterious Fires,” and “Highway Patrol appearances.”
Residents of Mount Thomas, the town immortalised in the long-running TV series “Blue Heelers,” expressed mixed feelings about their dethroning. “We had a good run,” said Mount Thomas Police Sergeant Tom Croydon.
“It’s a true testament to the hard work and dedication of criminals,” said Mayor Andrea Metcalf, cutting the ceremonial ribbon with confiscated bolt cutters.
“We used to be somebody,” lamented former Mount Thomas resident Kevin Thompson. “Now, we’re just another quiet town with nothing to do except watch reruns of Blue Heelers. It’s tragic.”
Don’t worry, Mount Thomas—there’s always next year.
