In a bold move to curb violence and channel the energy of the region’s most notorious troublemakers, the QEO has announced it will host the Hunger Games following a violent incident at the Bendigo Marketplace that’s left the local community reeling.
The Marketplace attack, which saw a mob of youths beat the ever-loving shit out of a security guard and locals in a horrific display of aggression, was deemed the final straw in Bendigo’s ongoing struggle with unruly behaviour. “This isn’t just a punishment,” said the event’s Head Gamemaker Mark Ellis. “This is an opportunity for these kids to earn some street cred the old-fashioned way—by surviving the absolute shitshow we’ve got planned for them.”
In an official statement, Bendigo City Council clarified, “This is about putting these snivelling little pricks in their place while we all watch them try to avoid getting speared in the neck.”
Tickets for The Hunger Games are already flying off the shelves, with 60% of general admission sold. A VIP section has also been added for those brave enough (or bored enough) to pay for an up-close view of the action. “It’s going to be the Lord of the Flies,” Ellis added.
“We’re just here to give these little shits a taste of The Capitol,” said Mark. “And maybe teach them a lesson about picking on security guards. A lesson they’ll never forget.”
