In a stunning revelation that has shocked precisely four people at the Bendigo Showgrounds Market, a local stallholder named Makenzee “Buckets” McGraw has boldly claimed she invented the world’s first bucket hat.
Wearing what appeared to be an extremely faded sunhat, Makenzee announced the news mid-morning between selling Pokémon cards and a box of expired Lynx Africa gift sets.
According to Makenzee, the prototype was created in 1983 after a particularly rough day at Bondi when she needed a hat that could “hold water, block sun, and act as a backup bowl for chips.”
The claim has been met with widespread scepticism, mostly from marketgoers who recall buying bucket hats at Big W in the early 2000s and from one unimpressed local who muttered, “I’m pretty sure Liam from Year 9 wore one in 2014, ironically.”
But Makenzee is, like, totally unbothered.
“Okay, first of all? I literally invented the bucket hat,” she said, flipping her hair and adjusting a pair of oversized sunglasses. “People are like, ‘No, you didn’t,’ and I’m like, ‘Babe. Did you have a dream and, like, a hot chip craving?’ No? Then zip it.”
Her best friend, Tayla, chimed in with support while sipping a caramel iced latte through a paper straw.
“Makenzee is, like, a visionary,” Tayla said. “She totally did, like, invent it. She was doing festival chic before Splendour even had a lineup. If the fashion world doesn’t get it, that’s, like, totally their loss.”
Fashion historians have declined to comment, mostly because they have better things to do.
Despite the controversy, Makenzee is optimistic. “I’ve already, like, emailed Shark Tank.”
At press time, Makenzee was seen sewing a stubby cooler to a sombrero and calling it a “Stubbrero.” Tayla described it as “high-key genius.”
