Here’s what the stars have in store for you this week!
♈ ARIES
March 21 to April 19
Congratulations, Aries! Today’s the day you’ll make a decision, only to regret it five minutes later. But hey, who needs to learn from their mistakes when they can just keep making them, right?
Lucky Colour: Red—because it’s the colour of your ego.
♉ TAURUS
April 20 to May 20
You pride yourself on being dependable, which is another way of saying you’re stuck in your routine like an old Roomba bashing against the same wall. Change is scary, so don’t worry—you won’t be making any.
Lucky colour: Green, wipe your nose.
♊ GEMINI
May 21 to June 20
Your ability to be both charming and full of it at the same time is truly a gift. This week, you’ll meet someone who finally sees through your nonsense, and no, they will not be impressed.
Lucky colour: Yellow, because why not? You’re the human equivalent of a highlighter.
♋ CANCER
June 21 to July 22
Emotions are running high. This is a polite way of saying you’ll be all over the place. Consider yourself a walking mood swing.
Lucky colour: Silver, because it’s shiny, and let’s be honest, you love attention.
♌ LEO
July 23 to August 22
You’ll feel like a lion today, but the truth is, you’re more of a housecat pretending to be fierce. Strut your stuff, but don’t expect anyone to be impressed.
Lucky colour: Gold, because you think you deserve it, even though you don’t.
♍ VIRGO
August 23 to September 22
You’ll talk in circles this week, Virgo, but at least you’ll sound convincing. Avoid making decisions—your brain can’t be trusted with that kind of responsibility right now.
Lucky colour: Brown, because it’s the colour of what you leave behind.
♎ LIBRA
September 23 to October 22
Decision-making? Please. It’s not your strong suit. Go ahead and waver between two choices for hours; it’s not like you’ll get anywhere.
Lucky colour: Pink is the colour of indecisiveness and, apparently, your soul.
♏ SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21
Keep your travel plans to yourself, Scorpio. Nobody cares how much more of the world you’ve seen. Maybe focus on something practical, like figuring out how to finish something for once.
Lucky colour: Black, because it matches your overly dramatic personality.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
November 22 to December 21
You may feel adventurous today, but you’re probably just procrastinating. Take a nap and call it “reflecting.”
Lucky colour: Purple, because you’re too busy daydreaming to get anything done.
♑ CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 19
You’ll continue to climb that metaphorical mountain, but let’s face it—your idea of success is just surviving the day without losing your mind.
Lucky colour: Grey because it matches your personality on a Monday morning.
♒ AQUARIUS
January 20 to February 18
Your dreamy, artistic soul is a gift, but unfortunately, rent is due. No, your poem about the moon won’t pay the bills.
Lucky colour: Blue, because nothing says “I’m too cool for this” like the cold, distant colour of apathy.
♓ PISCES
February 19 to March 20
You’ll be extra sensitive today, and while that’s adorable in theory, it isn’t enjoyable. Get it together, drama queen.
Lucky colour: Lavender, because it’s calming… unlike your emotional outbursts.
