Here’s what the stars have in store for you this week!
♈ ARIES
March 21 to April 19
Your impulsive nature will lead you to make yet another brilliant life choice, such as buying a 3D printer to “start a business.”
Lucky Colour: Overdraft Red.
♉ TAURUS
April 20 to May 20
You love stability, which explains why you’re still wearing those decade-old trackies and refusing to update your phone because “the old one works fine.” Change is scary, but so is your wardrobe.
Lucky Colour: Arrowroot Biscuit Beige, just like your personality.
♊ GEMINI
May 21 to June 20
Your ability to hold multiple conversations at once is impressive, but you could try listening for a change or not. You’re interesting.
Lucky Colour: Camo, so people can pretend they don’t see you.
♋ CANCER
June 21 to July 22
Someone will upset you this week, and rather than confronting them, you’ll spend three days passive-aggressively sighing in their direction. That’ll show ’em.
Lucky Colour: Silent Treatment Blue.
♌ LEO
July 23 to August 22
You’re radiating main-character energy as usual, but unfortunately, not every situation requires you to make a dramatic entrance. Sometimes, people want to eat their lunch in peace.
Lucky Colour: Look-at-Me Yellow.
♍ VIRGO
August 23 to September 22
You did notice that slightly misaligned tile in your friend’s kitchen. No, you don’t need to spend the entire dinner thinking about it. Deep breaths.
Lucky Colour: Perfectionist White.
♎ LIBRA
September 23 to October 22
This week, you will face an excruciating decision: choosing between two equally mediocre takeout options. Take your time; it’s not like it’s Friday night and the fish and chips shop is waiting for you to call.
Lucky Colour: Indecision Mauve.
♏ SCORPIO
October 23 to November 21
Oh no, did someone not text you back within 30 seconds? Are you filming a TikTok about how much they’ve betrayed you? Get over yourself.
Lucky Colour: Lame Lime, just like the tragic main character you pretend to be.
♐ SAGITTARIUS
November 22 to December 21
Your ability to hold grudges is genuinely inspiring. Why let go of something when you can nurse it like a fine wine and bring it up 20 years later? Please shut the hell up.
Lucky Colour: Vengeance Black. Like your heart.
♑ CAPRICORN
December 22 to January 19
Another week of working yourself to the bone while secretly judging everyone else for their lack of ambition. It’s lonely at the top, but at least your to-do list is impressive.
Lucky Colour: Burnout Grey.
♒ AQUARIUS
January 20 to February 18
Your emotions will be in overdrive, and every minor inconvenience will feel like the end of the world. Good news: Your friends are used to it. Bad news: They’ve started a group chat without you.
Lucky Colour: Sad, soggy blue – just like your mood when you see old people use Tiktok.
♓ PISCES
February 19 to March 20
You’ve been feeling extra sensitive lately. Maybe it’s time to stop taking everything so personally. Or keep crying into your tea while insisting you’re fine.
Lucky Colour: Melodrama Purple.