Here’s your horoscope for the week.
♊ Gemini | May 21 to June 20
Oh, Gemini, your charm and wit will be on full display today as you manage to talk your way out of doing any actual work. Your colleagues will be in awe of your ability to turn a simple conversation into a five-hour debate about the meaning of life. Bravo!
Your lucky colour: Traffic Cone Orange.
♋ Cancer | June 21 to July 22
Cancer, your sensitivity and moodiness will reach new heights today when you realize there’s no more ice cream left in the freezer. Don’t worry, you can always cry into a bowl of melted sorrows. It’s practically the same thing!
Your lucky colour: Moldy Green.
♌ Leo | July 23 to Aug. 22
Leo, your need for attention and admiration will be fulfilled today when you accidentally walk into a pole while trying to strike a pose. Your dignity might be bruised, but at least you’ll have a captive audience of pigeons to witness your embarrassment.
Your lucky colour: Smog Gray.
♍ Virgo | Aug. 23 to Sept. 22
Virgo, your adventurous spirit will lead you to some exciting new experiences this week, like getting lost in a foreign city, missing your flight, and ending up with a sunburn that rivals a tomato.
Your lucky colour: Puddle Brown.
♎ Libra | Sept. 23 to Oct. 22
Libra, your rebellious nature will be in full force this week. You’ll go against the flow, break the rules, and end up getting a stern lecture from your mum even though you’re a grown adult. But hey, at least you’ll have a good story to tell.
Your lucky colour: Hospital Gown Beige.
♏ Scorpio | Oct. 23 to Nov. 21
Scorpio, your secretive nature will come in handy today when you manage to hide from your responsibilities like a master ninja. Your ability to disappear when there’s work to be done is truly impressive. Well done!
Your lucky colour: Rotten Tomato Red.
♐ Sagittarius | Nov. 22 to Dec. 21
Sagittarius, your wanderlust will be ignited today when you accidentally take the wrong bus and end up in a town you’ve never heard of. Embrace the adventure, and remember that getting lost is just another way to discover yourself!
Your lucky colour: Magpie Poop Gray.
♑ Capricorn | Dec. 22 to Jan. 19
Capricorn, your ambition and practicality will shine through today as you spend countless hours organizing your sock drawer. Who needs dreams and aspirations when you have perfectly folded socks, right?
Your lucky colour: Leprechaun’s Nightmare Green.
♒ Aquarius | Jan. 20 to Feb. 18
Aquarius, your rebellious nature will be on full display today as you decide to ignore all societal norms and wear a dinosaur costume to work. Just be prepared for some strange looks and a possible meeting with HR.
Your lucky colour: Soggy Socks Brown.
♓ Pisces | Feb. 19 to March 20
Pisces, your dreamy and imaginative nature will reach new heights today when you accidentally walk into a glass door while lost in thought. Don’t worry, it’s just a reminder that reality is a harsh mistress. Ouch!
Your lucky colour: Bruised Banana Yellow.
♈ Aries | March 21 to April 19
Congratulations, Aries! Your impatience and impulsiveness will pay off today when you realize you’ve left your keys in your car, locked the door, and forgotten your wallet. It’s going to be a thrilling adventure as you try to figure out how to get back into your own house!
Your lucky colour: Overcooked Broccoli Green.
♉ Taurus | April 20 to May 20
Taurus, your stubbornness will shine through today as you adamantly refuse to admit that you’re wrong. Don’t worry, everyone else is just amazed by your ability to hold onto a ridiculous argument like it’s a gold medal. Keep it up!
Your lucky colour: Expiration Date Brown.