In a bold fusion of maternal devotion and internet entrepreneurship, Eaglehawk mum Traycee Brooker, 34, has launched an OnlyFans account to bankroll her son Troy’s insatiable lust for Pokémon cards.
“At first, I thought it was just a phase. Then he dropped a hundred bucks on a single Charizard card, and I realized I needed money — fast,” Troy’s mum told The Bendigo Standard while preparing to livestream herself reading The Very Hungry Caterpillar.
Troy remains unaware of the source of his newfound Pokéwealth. “Mum says she’s an entrepreneur now,” he said proudly while ripping open a $180 Elite Trainer Box like a Wall Street banker on coke.”
“I told him, ‘If you want that shiny Charizard, mummy’s gotta hustle,” Troy’s mum said.
Troy’s school declined to comment on the financial implications of trading cards, but one teacher noted, “Troy is now the most popular kid in class.”
Turns out you can put a price on a child’s happiness — and it’s $9 per month, with bonus Caterpillar content every Thursday.
