A new study released this week by the Institute of Family Dynamics has confirmed what most siblings already knew deep down: Yes, your sibling is the favourite child!
The study, conducted by leading experts in passive-aggressive psychology, found overwhelming evidence that your parents have always loved your sibling just a little bit more, no matter how many times they’ve told you, “We love you both equally.”
According to Parental Bias Data, your sibling receives 73% more praise for the exact same achievements and gets away with significantly more.
The study also revealed that your parents employ various gaslighting techniques to maintain plausible deniability, such as telling you that “your sister would never do that”, “you’re being ridiculous”, and jokes about how you were “the difficult one.”
Psychologists traced the favouritism back to your sibling’s early childhood, citing incidents such as “using Mums good scissors and didn’t get yelled at” and “sitting in the front seat”.
“Our findings show that your sibling could rob a bank and your parents would sigh and say, ‘They’ve always had such a big personality,’” psychologist Max Parker explained. “Meanwhile, you once took three teaspoons of Milo and were treated like a war criminal.”
At press time, your parents denied the study’s findings, but immediately changed the topic to how proud they were of your sibling’s most recent minor accomplishment.
